Who Would You Cast in a Comedy Equivalent of 'The Expendables'?

Who Would You Cast in a Comedy Equivalent of 'The Expendables'?

Aug 13, 2014

The third installment of The Expendables opens this weekend, and with it comes a few more notable action heroes added to the ensemble cast. Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson and Wesley Snipes have joined returning stars Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dolph Lundgren for what now seems like a dream for anyone who enjoyed going to the movies in 1993.

Eventually the Expendables series is going to run out of casting-gimmick possibilities. Is there even any '80s or '90s male action star left to bring into the fold?

I would like to propose a way to keep the idea behind The Expendables alive with a whole new enterprise: a comedy equivalent starring all the legends of the funniest movies from the '80s and '90s. Call it the "The Hystericals." 

Depending on your sense of humor, maybe that means the same cast would have to be involved. But as someone who doesn't think Stallone and Schwarzenegger are their own comedic counterparts, I've got some ideas of which actors might be:

Stallone: Dan Aykroyd - Because he's the sort of guy who would seem desperate enough to hold on to the nostalgia and put something like this together.

Schwarzenegger: Eddie Murphy - He's been off his game for longer than he was on it, and it would probably start with just a cameo.

Ford: Bill Murray - He's probably too good for this, but he'll play along after a while, though probably only briefly.

Gibson: Chevy Chase - Not that he's nearly as crazy, but if he were to appear he'd definitely be the villain.

Lundgren: Steve Guttenberg - Low tier, but he was a star for awhile.

Snipes: John Cusack - Always bet on Cusack. 

Bruce Willis: Steve Martin - Because he's probably too good for this and would likely bail quickly.  

Jason Statham: Ben Stiller - The biggest of the new blood. 

Jet Li: Johnny Knoxville - Because he's a different sort of comedy star (does stunt humor parallel martial arts?).

Jean-Claude Van Damme: Paul Hogan - Foreigner who had a brief moment. 

Randy Couture: Patton Oswalt - Alternative stand-up is the comedy version of the UFC, right?

Terry Crews: Dwayne Johnson - An athlete turned actor who actually had done more in the other genre.

Kelsey Grammar: David Hasselhoff - A TV star who actually had done more in the other genre.

Kellan Lutz: Jonah Hill - The new guy. 


Who would you cast in a comedy equivalent of The Expendables?

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