THE BABYSITTERS (2008)

by Dave White

Who's in It: John Leguizamo, Katherine Waterston, Cynthia Nixon, Andy Comeau

The Basics: A middle-aged father gets cozy with the family babysitter and pays her a little extra for her trouble, if you get my drift. This, in turn, sparks the genius idea of turning out all her teenage babysitter friends into one big weird suburban ring of horny dads and nubile, jail-bait hookers.

What's the Deal? Seriously, what ever happened to the sluts of the '70s? No scantily-clad high school vixen back then seemed to have any angst about hopping into a van and just doing it with some older guy. It all seemed free and easy in those exploitation movies. Today's trash-films to want to cluck their collective tongue and worry about the welfare of its girls gone wild. I say MAKE A DECISION, FILMMAKERS. You either have morals or you don't. Stop being gross and then apologizing for it. That's somehow even grosser.

Another Decision That Would Have Been Nice: Is this Risky Business or is it a sad coming-of-age-all-wrong tale? Because again, just like you can't have your Lolita and then be all sorry about it, you can't have comedy that keeps on telling you how unfunny the joke is. <

Whom to Blame: John Leguizamo, producer and star.

Extra Bonus Ick: Cynthia Nixon's in it. And she's WAY TOO COOL for this crap. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming the script was something entirely else until filming and editing began.

CRITICS' REVIEWS SOURCE RATING THE GIST NEGATIVE REVIEWS FOR THE BABYSITTERS Entertainment Weekly D+ "… overbroad satire and almost total lack of conviction." New York Times N/A "Until it crosses a shadowy line dividing serious comedy from distasteful exploitation, The Babysitters has the makings of an incisive satire of greed and lust in suburbia." Village Voice N/A "… a near-unwillingness to bust a brain cell …" MIXED REVIEWS FOR THE BABYSITTERS Hollywood Reporter N/A "… never manages to overcome its exploitative aspects." Variety N/A "… ultimately fails to deliver on the audacity of its premise."