Teeth Review by Dave White
Your man at the multiplex.

Teeth

Movie Info and Showtimes Posted on: Sep. 16, 2008 Release Date: Jan. 18, 2008

Teeth Grade: C
Who's in It: Jess Weixler, Vivienne Benesch, Lenny Von Dohlen, John Hensley

The Basics: A teen-abstinence poster girl discovers that she's the living embodiment of the vagina dentate myth. In other words, she has a set of Lorena Bobbitt scissors "down there." Eventually, her sense of freaked-out disgust turns to a sense of power and a somewhat more rational view of Darwin's legacy.

What's the Deal? Is it a horror movie? A satire about lunkheaded conservative Christianity? A comment on misogyny? And the answer is … all of the above. Except the horror isn't frightening (and it shies away completely from showing you the full-tilt gory aftermath of anyone who encounters our heroine below the waist), the religion satire's been done before (a LOT) and I'd rather let Catherine Breillat handle the misogyny. Ever seen her movie Fat Girl? You should. It's like a punch in the face.

What It Gets Right: Newcomer Jess Weixler makes sure that her toothsome teen never gets too maniacal. She maintains a fuzzy gawky aura of pubescent bafflement throughout, even as she's liberating penises and fingers from their former owners.

Yes, That Lichtenstein: From filmmaker Mitchell Lichtenstein, son of famous artist Roy. Basically Jackson Pollack was this guy's first babysitter. He acted for a while too, starring in Ang Lee's The Wedding Banquet.

Better, Funnier, Scarier Vagina-Based Entertainment: Showgirls.

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