Movie Buzz

The week's top movie talk. By Mike Standish

Super Bowl, Batman, Spidey and blood-sucking undead

Jan. 16, 2009

1

The Super Bowl
In Case You’re Not a Jock You could sit through the Super Bowl broadcast to catch world-premiere clips from Transformers 2, Star Trek, G.I. Joe, Angels & Demons, Monsters vs. Aliens, Land of the Lost and Fast & Furious. Or you could save yourself five hours and watch everything online the next day. I’ll take the latter, thanks.
2

Batman 3
A Long Nap? On the Golden Globes red carpet, Aaron Eckhart blabbed about how Two-Face maybe isn’t dead but is instead in a coma. You know who was also in a coma? Me during Dark Knight, every minute that Two-Face was on-screen. Please don’t let him come back and wreck another perfectly awesome movie.
3

Spider-Man 4
Vampires Are the New Black Will Morbius the Living Vampire be the next Spider-Man mega-villain? The problem with this particular strain of undead is that most of the time they suck (Underworld: Rise of the Lycans) or leave people cold (Twilight).
4

New Moon
New Moon, Same Jacob Black Last time I checked, I was a male with secondary sex characteristics. Which means I’ve gone through puberty. Which means I’m too old to care that Taylor Lautner’s going to be back for the sequel. And since I’m a male over the age of 25, I’m too old to care (without it seeming creepy) that Vanessa Hudgens was rumored to play Leah Clearwater.
5

Transformers: Rise of the Fallen
You Might Be a Hopeless Dork If … You care that Sideswipe, a Corvette concept car, is going to be one of the new Autobots. You’re extra hopeless if you know that the original Sideswipe was a Lamborghini. Welcome to the club!
6

Watchmen
L.A. Law So apparently the lawsuit’s being put on hold, which means that a bunch of studio lawyers are sitting in a room hashing out a settlement that will keep the movie at its March 6 release date, which means you can watch this wicked TV spot without getting utterly depressed.
7

The Last House on the Left
Sweet House o’ Mine Guns N’ Roses purists will likely rail against the blasphemous cover at the end of this trailer, but for the most part Guns N’ Roses purists are Reebok-and-acid-wash-jeans-wearing renobs trapped in 1991.
8

All About Steve
Maybe It’s the Hair Look, it’s another movie with Sandra Bullock as someone who supposedly can’t get a guy to like her. I wish Hollywood would stop cranking out crap about super-hot people who have trouble finding dates. Even in a stupid wig, Sandra Bullock is a babe. In real life, any heterosexual man with a pulse and functioning eyeballs would be able to see this.
9

Killshot
Killer Week Mickey Rourke got a Golden Globe win for The Wrestler, dropped an M-F bomb during his acceptance speech and landed the Crimson Dynamo gig in Iron Man 2. But he’s only the second craziest dude in this trailer.
10

Fighting
Fighting Club? Remember Coming to America? It’s Eddie Murphy’s best movie. No, really. I’m serious. Anyway. The dad in that flick ran a fast food joint called McDowell’s. Fighting is to Fight Club what McDowell’s was to McDonald’s. A pale imitation.