Who's in It: Danny Dyer, Laura Harris, Tim McInnerny, Toby Stephens, Claudie Blakley, Andy Nyman
The Basics: A group of incredibly annoying, disgruntled employees of a British weapons manufacturer go off to Budapest for a team-building weekend in the woods. What they find there, however, is a pack of bloodthirsty maniacs who pick them off one by one. A horror-comedy where the horror is only occasionally interesting … and the comedy isn't funny. I blame Shaun of the Dead.
What's the Deal? The filmmakers are quick to point out that they think of it as a cross between The Office and Deliverance. Bad move. Never invoke classics to describe your attempt at mimicry. Or you'll get people folding their arms and saying, "Oh, yeah? Well, I love The Office and Deliverance, and this reminds me of neither, no matter how many cool shots of chopped-off limbs you show me."
Did They Mention That It's Also Political? Because, see, the employees all work for a weapons company, and that means war, which is bad for children and other living things, and, well, wouldn't it be ironic to cheekily hoist these people on their own machine guns and crossbows and stuff? I totally would, right?! I know! Hilarious!
Hey, Creators of All Horror Films! Guess What? You're all going to have to step up your game, like, starting yesterday. If you hadn't noticed, we're in the middle of a glut of guts, a deluge of disembowelments, and you're all beginning to look, smell, feel and taste exactly the same. You think that horror fans — and I'm one of them — are going to wade through all of it (four open this week alone) forever? Never stop buying the come-on? Guess again.
Having Said That: Catch it on cable so you can fast-forward to the part about the severed foot in the refrigerator, and the part at the end that I won't spoil because even though this movie 98 percent sucks, I'm not always in a mean-enough mood to give spoilers.