Who's in It:
The voices of Kiefer Sutherland, Eddie Izzard, William Shatner, Janeane Garofalo, James Belushi
The Basics: A fake Lion King zoo-dweller fills his cub's head with stories of a glorious life in far-off Africa and ends up having to go there to retrieve his wayward son when the kid is accidentally shipped away. Yes, it's as boring as it sounds.
What's the Deal? Did Disney actually make this movie? Because it looks as though it was farmed out to some cut-rate 3-D animation sweatshop. I'm talking bland, poorly articulated, personality-free character design on the order of Hoodwinked and Doogal. Oh, you didn't see those two? That's because they sucked. And you probably don't have kids.
What if Bambi Got Crunk? Seriously. Would your children be able to sit through and understand the early Disney masterpieces if they'd been filled with slang from their respective eras? So what hip cat decided to make sure a character in this one talks about "bling"? And to have animals talking in that played-out surfer-dude accent?
Product-Placement Alert: ABC, Radio Disney, Quaker Oats, Kodak, McDonald's and the Lion King musical all get plugs here.
Number of Lines Involving Jokes About Poop or Flatulence: I counted about five. It's not gross. It's not funny. It's lazy.
What's Good About This Mess: Eddie Izzard as a defensive, constantly annoyed koala bear.