Iffy for 14+
Lowbrow, sex-and-violence-laden vampire spoof really bites.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Vampires Suck is a very lowbrow spoof of the Twilight films from the makers of previous lame parodies like Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans. It's rated PG-13 but pushes the boundaries of that rating with it's frequent (albeit cartoonish) violence, sexual obsession, and language (there's one "f--k" and several "s--t"s). Teen boys who are sick of Twilight might find some perverse pleasure in seeing it skewered, but the satire here isn't very smart or funny, and there's little of value.
- Families can talk about the violence in the movie. Is it funny? If so, why? Does that change its impact?
- What makes a satire or a spoof work? Is this an effective satire or spoof of the Twilight films? Does it make you appreciate those films more or less?
The good stuff
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Messages: As in the Twilight films, the theme here involves overwhelming, passionate romance that borders on obsessive and is at the expense of everything else. Beyond that, there's no evidence of mutual trust or friendship. Instead, characters are mainly interested in sex, ridiculing others, and stereotyping.
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Role models: Like the real Bella character in the Twilight films, Becca's obsession with Edward seems on the unhealthy side; it doesn't feel like a mutually beneficial love. She's willing to sacrifice everything for him, including family, friends, and perhaps her own future. As this is a spoof, there's no meaningful discussion about what the relationship means; it's all jokes about break-ups and sex.
What to watch for
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Violence: Lots of highly exaggerated, consequence-free violence and spurting blood played for cartoonish comic effect. In one scene, a character has a broken arm with a protruding bone. A vampire sucks a character dry (her skin shrivels up). Another character has his arms, legs, and head ripped off. Characters beat each other up with fists, feet, knives, shovels, baseball bats, and whatever other weapons happen to be handy. A character pulls a gun and shoots a girl in the woods. A character "juggles" a baby in another scene. Characters are kicked in the crotch.
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Sex: In one scene, Becca decides that she's going to "hump the s--t out of" Edward. She leaps on top of him, kisses him, nibbles his neck, and removes his "chastity ring." She also appears in a leather "dominatrix" outfit (including flashing red lights on the bra). But they're interrupted before sex can actually happen, and there's no nudity. In another scene, Edward touches his penis through his jeans. He also strips naked; his genitals aren't visible, but there's a shot of his "saggy" buttocks (the punchline of a joke). References to another character's required shirtlessness. Becca's dad comments on the size of her breasts.
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Language: One use of "f--k" and several "s--t"s. Other words include "wang," "douchebag," "son of a bitch," "damn," "t-ts," "goddamn," "hump," "ass," "bitch," "crap," "oh my God," and "hell," plus one use of the raised middle finger.
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Consumerism: The characters regularly display and use name brands, such as Facebook and Twitter, Slurpee, Cheetos, Count Chocula cereal, and Tampax. Edward rides a Segway. The movie directly references the real Twilight films and author Stephenie Meyer, and there are endless pop culture references to celebrities like the Kardashians, the Black Eyed Peas, the Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift, George Clooney, and more.
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Drinking, drugs and smoking: Some teens are seen drinking at the prom. A teen character hurls a bottle of champagne from the back of her rented limo.
Fan Reviews provided by
1
Big mistake...HUGE by LTMF 2
it is a dangerous thing to spoof a successful franchise without a great or at the very least,talented team behind you. This could have been a clever and successful venture for lovers and haters alike. They rushed it,and put something stupid and trashy together that a few middle school boys could have put together for Youtube. Only thing that impressed me the tiniest bit was the lead actresses mimicking of Stewarts mannerisms. I stayed,but regret even paying matinee price. also...should have been rated R
5
Awesome Spoof! Definitely Must-See For Twi-hards! by ArwenGamgee
Okay, first off, let me say, the people leaving reviews are total sticks in the mud! Who goes to a spoof movie expecting Oscar-worthy storytelling and acting? And who takes their young children to a teen comedy? This is a parody. They're poking fun at every little detail in the first two Twilight movies.
I'm a fan of Twilight (well, not the first movie, but the other two aren't bad...) and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED this film! If you've seen the Twilight movies, you'll catch every reference presented onscreen. They cast the actors well, considering they're almost exact replicas of the originals. The guys portraying Edward and Jacob definitely steal the spotlight.
Some people think it's insulting to the franchise, but we're fans and were still compelled to see it opening week. I've been looking forward to this and it didn't disappoint. If you need a good comedy, it's money well spent. There are a few lines in the movie that I would pay to hear again. "CAT!" haha XD
5
Vampires Suck by susnvyon
Very funny, good parody. The lead actress sure had Kristen Stewart down to a T. We laughed at the clever takeoff of each of the Twilight scenes and situations. I reccommend this to any Twilight movie fan. See it!
3
SHOULD BE A RATED R MOVIE! by martinachildress
This is a hilarious spoof of the Twilight Saga movies but this movie is NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER 17. There are many inappropriate sexual references and it really deserves an "R" rating. DO NOT TAKE YOUR YOUNG TWILIGHTERS TO SEE THIS MOVIE! Spoiler Alert. During the scene in the car with her dad Frank when Becca first arrives in Sporks, he asks her about her hair just like in the Twilight movies and then makes a comment about how big her "***" have gotten! There is a blow up doll in at least two scenes, Becca throws herself at Eddie and where's a hooker ensemble with flashing lights like a landing strip in front of her hoohah. The most inappropriate scene was when they zoomed in on one of the males in the movie with a woody and he's stroking it.....there were at least 10 times I grimaced because I took my twelve year old and her friend to this movie. Of course, they LOVED it.
4
Hilarious!! by krd2009
I am a twilight fan and this movie was hilarious!! I think it made it even funnier because I was a twilight fan. If you can take a joke about something you like then this movie is for you. And honestly, the casting in this was sooo much better than in the real series!!!
2
Stupid,wrong... by lovestalentmoviefan
...and not humorous.Spoofs are supposed to make you laugh,this just makes you cringe and want your money back. Not even worth a thought provoking review. will expand on LTMF2 review.Just in a hurry right now. See something else in the meantime :)
3
My Rating on Vampires Suck by karigw90
I went with my 12 year old, it was ok. I don't really want to watch it again... She really liked it. She laughed through most of it.
1
vampires suck (AND SO DOES THE MOVIE) by mags609
this movie is veryyyy wrong for kids to watch. it should be rated R not PG-13. the previews that are advertised on television do not give you an idea of how trashy it is. the twilight movies were more appropriate by far. my 13 year old and 14 year old had to leave the movie because of the filthy language and inappropriate scenes. WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME!!!!
1
Vampires Suck by mtkmorris
This was the stupidest movie I have ever seen. If I thought they would I would have demanded a refund form the theater. It should have been rated R. It was just disgusting and was in no way appropriate for my 14 year old daughter. She was uncomfortable and I was too. She was begging me the whole time if we could leave. It was in no way funny, all the funny parts were in the trailers. So if you want to see a funny Vampires Suck then just watch the trailers.