Who's In It: James Belushi, Peter Dinklage, Patrick Warburton, Alex Neuberger; voices of Jason Lee, Amy Adams and Brad Garrett
The Basics: A talking, flying, cape-wearing beagle fights crimes. He also thwarts a mad scientist who wants to do mad scientist-y things to the world. The verdict for adults: painless and under 90 minutes. The verdict for little kids: best talking, flying, cape-wearing, beagle-fighting-crime movie ever.
What's the Deal? Normally, when a big studio refuses to show a film to critics, that means you're dealing with something like Captivity or I Know Who Killed Me. They usually don't hold back on letting you see the harmlessly mediocre kids' movies. I mean, I got to see Firehouse Dog in advance of its release date, and this one is better than that. If it's guilty of any crime, then it's the one where no original thought went into it at all. And for the grown-up audience, that means you'll forget it the second it's over, you won't feel enraged by the way it insults you, and you won't want to claw your own eyes out. These are important distinctions to make when you're discussing lazily created movies for kids.
What's Not Bad at All About It: Dinklage as mad scientist Simon Bar-Sinister and Warburton as his oafish assistant Cad are kind of in their own silly movie, and they seem to be having a really good time. I even laughed along with some of the stuff they do, like when Dinklage intones, "The flames of inspiration are licking at my brain!" and he makes it sound like he's doing Macbeth in the West End.
What They Shouldn't Have Done: Shown any of the original cartoon over the opening credits. That just makes little kids confused and think they're about to see a cartoon. It just makes adults peevish that they're not about to see the cool old cartoon they remember so fondly. Bad decision.
If This Does Big Business: And it just might, because the 10 a.m. Friday screening was packed with mommies and kids … but anyway, if it does big business, then does that mean we can look forward to a live-action Super Chicken? I think about stuff like this.
And While I'm Talking About Mommies: Can I just complain about something here for a second? Could every adult woman with children stop with the daggers-glaring at adult men as though they're the living embodiment of stranger-danger whenever they come within 10 feet of their kids? Seriously, you'd have thought I was John Wayne Gacy in a clown costume.