Dave White
Turistas Review

Dave's Rating:

2.0

… trashy, dumb, lurid …

Who's in It: Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew, Beau Garrett, Max Brown

The Basics: Luckily, a few of those twentysomething, backpacking, Ecstasy-gobbling kids escaped that Eastern European hostel and managed to find their way to Brazil for more partying. Oops … then they got themselves kidnapped, drugged and their organs harvested for sale on the black market. The moral: You're really better off going to Paris. That's where I went this summer, and no one bothered me.

What's the Deal? You'll have a hard time getting most people to watch the latest OMG George W. Bush Is Ruining the World Please Bring Home the Troops documentary. But they'll watch something like this. And whether dopey horror movies about how frightening the world is because of/for Americans right now mean to do it or not, they're pretty much saying the same thing.

John Stockwell Is Like Russ Meyer but Not as Good: When he's got his booties-and-bouncing-breasts-on-the-beach-cam going, he's a very engaged director. He made Blue Crush and Into the Blue and a couple of L Word episodes, after all. But he seems to lose interest when it comes to letting you know who's chasing, shooting or stabbing whom in the dark Brazilian rain forest. It's like he only works hard when the boss is standing over his shoulder.

Josh Duhamel = A for Effort: I always think that when actors try to "elevate" the material by being serious about it all, they deserve some sort of extra pat on the head. But an actual pat would be kind of condescending. This man has a Daytime Emmy. And it's not his fault that this movie is trashy, dumb, lurid and sometimes lacking all sense.

The Bottom Line: Not enough scary; not enough gory. But there's a great bus crash at the beginning.

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