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Transylmania Review

Other Critics provided by

Critics scores range from 0 to 100, with higher scores indicating more favorable reviews.

  • 1.0

    out of 100

    Overwhelming dislike
    based on a weighted average of all
    critic review scores.

  • 0

    out of 100

    Entertainment Weekly

    It's tempting to say ''avoid at all costs,'' but truthfully, everyone should see something this bad at least once, if only to help us better appreciate the comparatively brainy merits of works like "Eurotrip," "Freddy Got Fingered," and the modern-day plague of movies with titles ending in "Movie."

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  • 10

    out of 100

    Los Angeles Times

    Although the inept filmmaking and tiresome gags give the air of coming from one truly bored misogynist, it took two screenwriters (Patrick Casey, Worm Miller) and two directors (David & Scott Hillenbrand) to create this stake through the heart of film comedy.

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  • 20

    out of 100

    The New York Times

    Transylmania, a vampire-hunter, college road trip sex comedy, has a problem: someone has drained all the laughs out of it.

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  • 20

    out of 100

    The Hollywood Reporter Frank Scheck

    The lame gags, ineptly staged, don't produce anything in the way of genuine laughs, though there is the occasional funny line.

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  • 30

    out of 100

    Variety Dennis Harvey

    Fangs aside, it sticks with the same basic menu of T&A and lowbrow humor.

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  • See all Transylmania reviews at

For Families provided by Common Sense Media

not for kids

Sex, drugs, and vampires combine for stupid, vile "comedy."

What Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that Transylmania is a crude, stupid vampire "comedy" with lots of sex, drugs, swearing, and cartoonish violence -- which means it's precisely the kind of movie that younger teens (particularly boys) will try to sneak into after buying tickets for something else. All of the so-called humor is either vulgar or juvenile, and scenes include everything from "humorously" bloody fights and dismemberments to bare breasts to broad stereotypes to frequent use of words like "s--t" and "f--k." The best that can be said for it is that it's more stupid than it is mean. Also, there is an unrated version of this film available on dvd, this review is for the rated versions shown in theaters.

  • Families can talk about the way the movie makes judgments based on appearances and other stereotypes. Are stereotypes ever funny?
  • Some of the characters smoke pot almost constantly with no harmful effect. What would have been some of the real-life consequences of their behavior?
  • One girl is captured and decapitated because she's a "stick in the mud" and wouldn't go out partying with her friends. Should her behavior have been punished? Is it better to be a "stick in the mud" or to party all the time?
  • Did you think th movie was funny? What made you laugh, and why? Why are different things funny to different groups/types of people?

The good stuff
  • message true0

    Messages: The movie starts with some cultural and sexual stereotypes. Characters also judge others based on physical appearance, and the movie ridicules characters with problems or flaws. Characters take drugs with no consequences.

  • rolemodels true0

    Role models: Not one character in this movie could possibly contribute anything positive to society -- though, to be fair, they aren't mean as much as they are stupid.

What to watch for
  • violence false4

    Violence: Lots of comical fantasy violence played for laughs. Vampires get staked in the heart, and other characters get hit with crossbow arrows (complete with lost limbs and spurting blood). One girl loses her head, and her body is chopped up, stitched back together, unraveled, and stitched together again. There are also guns and swordfighting, as well as various martial arts and hand-to-hand combat between vampires and vampire hunters. In one scene, vampires use a human as a keg, with a tap connected to his torso.

  • sex false5

    Sex: Non-stop sex talk, most of it crude. Several topless females, as well as inflatable sex dolls. Plenty of kissing. Teenagers have simulated sex, but it's completely hidden under the covers. There's a joke about premature ejaculation, as well as ejaculate on a computer screen. One male character shows his bare behind, which is partially obscured (his front is totally obscured). Viewers see pages of a sexual manual, as well as sexy drawings. Fake prosthetic body parts (such as a large, single breast on one girl's chest). Most of the female characters wear revealing clothes, with lots of exposed cleavage. Crude songs with sex-related lyrics.

  • language false4

    Language: Frequent use of "s--t" in all its forms, as well as many uses of "f--k." Also words like "bitch," "whore," "goddamn," "ass," "t-ts," "balls," "hump," "douche bag," "bastard," "fudge-packer," "spanking your pud," and more. Characters raise the middle finger and use insults including "moron" and "idiot." One joke involves a priest with Tourette's syndrome who curses a blue streak during a funeral.

  • consumerism false0

    Consumerism: Just a reference to Viagra.

  • drugsalcoholtobacco false4

    Drinking, drugs and smoking: Two teen male characters constantly smoke pot, and another character -- who believes he's taking Viagra -- pops a handful of pills of varying origins (tranquilizers, speed, etc.). Viewers also see a "psychedelic" drug sequence after these various pills kick in. Characters smuggle drugs inside their rectums.