Who's in It: The voices of Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki, Cam Clarke

The Basics: Larry the Cucumber, Mr. Lunt (who's a gourd with a mustache) and Pa Grape (who's a grape, which is not a veggie, but whatever) work in pirate dinner theater and get sent back in time to deal with some real pirates. There's some singing and some other silly stuff. If you're too young for elementary school, you're going to love, love, love it.

What's the Deal? Something must have happened in the great veggie leap from independent company to Universal distribution, because there's not a bit of heavy-handed Bible stuff in this at all. It's just a lot of goofy pirate antics, not like the first VeggieTales movie, which was, if you recall, based on the Old Testament story of Jonah. In fact, it makes vintage Davey and Goliath cartoons look like hardcore fundamentalism. So all you Christian parents might be in for a surprise. Why not take your kid to see The Golden Compass instead? It's way better than this anyway.

Oddest Juxtaposition of Socially Conservative Evangelical Christianity and '80s Retro New Wave Homosexuality: The inclusion of a reworked version of the B-52's "Rock Lobster" becomes part of the plot when some "rock monsters" come along. Not that "Rock Lobster" was a gay song or anything. And who knows? Maybe little kids sing that in Sunday School now.

Best Part: When they get chased by mean-spirited cheese snacks. It made me forget for a second that I was a grown man watching a movie made for preschoolers. By myself.

Best Way for Parents to Deal With the Lost 90 Minutes: Your kids will hate this, but you should sit in the far back row. That way when you catch up on your e-mail, you won't bother the people around you.


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