Who's in It: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Robert Mammone, Rick Hoffman
The Basics: Ten death-row inmates are bought by a TV producer and put on an island to battle it out to the death, with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the lone good guy and war hero mistakenly dropped down into the fight. He'll win, of course, being the most stone cold of them all, but you knew that before you ever read this review.
What's the Deal? Just to make sure you're keeping score here, I'll say it again more clearly: The big, hulking, white, Texan-American stone-cold male is the hero and all the non-Americans, non-whites, women and Jewish TV people are despicable. All the more reason to bribe them with the promise of millions of dollars (the Jews), shiny sunglasses (the Asian) and sex (the black guy). The women get raped. Then beaten to death.
Even More Hilarious: Halfway through the carnage, the movie decides that violence is wrong and that not only should the people creating it be punished but that you, the viewer, should be ashamed of yourself for digging it. That leads, of course, to the best line of the movie from a self-righteous female media character: "We're the real condemned!"
What's Awesome About It, and Why I Hate This Movie But Not Myself: Superviolence is always a blast to watch, and there's plenty of that here, but it has no consistent point of view about that superviolence, and the director has no idea how to use his island setting imaginatively. It's all just, "Oh, hey, watch out. Here comes a bad guy from the bushes," when ideally they should be fashioning hang-gliders out of tree branches or something, Survivor-style, and really getting crazy. See No Evil was a purer film than this. Meanwhile, I won't be told a single dang thing about my moral compass by a pro-wrestling corporation. Jerks.
Better That You Should See This Instead: Battle Royale.