not for kids
Extremely vulgar comedy also has some genuine sweetness.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Ted was co-written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, creator of edgy cartoon TV series Family Guy. Without the constraints of network TV, MacFarlane has taken off the gloves and created an extremely vulgar movie, filled with wall-to-wall foul language, racial and ethnic jokes, sexual innuendo and references, some nudity and partly shown sex, and a violent fight scene. Characters drink beer and smoke pot regularly, drink harder alcohol occasionally, and even try cocaine (the negative effects are shown). There are also tons of pop culture references, as well as a few product references, including beer, junk food, and video games. But on the upside, the characters have genuine heart and work hard to become better people.
- Families can talk about how Ted depicts drug and alcohol use. Why do John and Ted smoke and drink so much? What are the real-life consequences of substance use/abuse? Are those consequences clear in the movie?
- What does it mean to be a grown up? How do the characters show that they're moving from being children to becoming responsible adults? Is it hard to take that step -- to "throw away childish things" and become adults?
- Does this movie reinforce stereotypes, or does it make fun of them?
The good stuff
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Messages: Buried beneath all the vulgar humor is a message about the benefits of growing up and becoming responsible -- though not necessarily wildly successful. Ted doesn't necessarily celebrate being rich as it does simply being happy and being with the ones you love.
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Role models: He swears, drinks, and does drugs, but John also learns to be responsible and to "become a man" (i.e. a grown up) in order to deserve the woman he loves.
What to watch for
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Violence: Ted and John have a knock-down, drag-out fist fight, destroying many of the objects in a hotel room. Ted whips John's bare bottom with a radio antenna. In one quick scene, Ted plays the "knife game" with a person's fingers, accidentally stabbing him on the hand. A little blood is shown. Other scenes of fighting, slight wounds, and arguing. Jokes about rape.
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Sex: Heavy, heavy sexual content and innuendo, including a partly-obscured shot of Ted (the teddy bear) having sex with a human woman. The bear flirts with a girl by thrusting up against a cash register and then squirts hand cream on his face. One woman's naked breasts are shown. Part of Mark Wahlberg's naked bottom is shown. The main couple, who have been in a relationship for four years, are seen kissing and caressing each other. A close up of "Lance Armstrong's bronzed nut."
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Language: Language is constant, strong, and extremely vulgar. This includes many uses of "f--k" and "s--t," as well as "Jesus" (as an exclamation), "oh my God," "douchebag," "douche," "ass," "a--hole," "motherf---er," "p---y," "t-ts," "c--k," "son of a bitch," "bastard," "d--k," "hell," "crap," "goddamn," and "whore." There are also many racial and ethnic slurs, as well as extremely crude and off-color jokes about topics like rape.
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Consumerism: Several products are shown and/or referenced, including Budweiser beer, Michelob beer, Nintendo, PlayStation, Pop 'Ems, Sugar Corn Pops, Pepperidge Farm, Teddy Ruxpin, and more. Many, many movies and TV shows are also mentioned and/or shown, including Flash Gordon (1980), Bridget Jones's Diary, and Cheers.
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Drinking, drugs and smoking: The two main characters regularly smoke pot and drink beer recreationally. The main characters try cocaine for the first time at a party; the negative effects of this are shown. Characters also drink shots of hard liquor and champagne at a restaurant. No one is shown to have a problem or an addiction, and no drug dealers are shown.
Fan Reviews provided by
5
I I <3 Ted! by eduardo_soriano
I caught a free screening in Manhattan this past Wednesday. Despite a long and tiring work day I choose to take the hour long trip to Mid-Town and took a chance on Ted.
So Glad I did too! The film delivers a laugh a minute. Filled with 80's references and a side splitting ongoing Flash Gordon joke that's nostalgic and reliably funny, especially for 30 somethings like me. Ted is the friend I wish I had, funny, perverted and oh so huggable.
The movie is truly about friendship and coming of age and despite it's shallow plot it executes it's goal (making you laugh) with a comedic pace that definitely merits the time you'll spend watching it. It will require some suspension of all reality on your part but then again what did you expect from a movie about a living, walking, talking, beer drinking, pot smoking, cursing, fighting and lady loving teddy bear?
The acting is good and Mark W. is amazing. This film is definitely not for sheltered kids.
5
Hilarious by bdeitemeyer
Definitely funny if you like this sort of crude comedy, I'll probably see it again as I laughed for nearly the entire movie the first time.
5
One Of The Funniest Movies I've Ever Seen by SteveP21
The movie had a good story line, plus PLENTY of comedy. Seth McFarlane is a comic genius. Mark Whalberg and Mila Kunis were perfect picks for main characters. Def. a MUST GO
5
Really enjoyable! by Lyncap
I had no interest in seeing this movie. NONE. I don't watch Family Guy (actually can't stand it), so I don't generally support Seth McF projects. Anyway, Fandango sent me free passes, so I figured what the heck. I had a friend who wanted to see it, so we went. While I won't start watching Family Guy, I will say that I laughed so hard during this movie! I expected to be grossed out, offended, and generally turned off for most of it. Honestly? As much as I LOVED The Hangover...TH was much more offensive/gross. I laughed a lot and was engaged during the entire flick. Never bored and never thought to get up and leave. My whole theater howled during the movie. It's very much a buddy comedy. You are fully aware that Ted is a bear, but it all makes sense in the movie universe.
All of the actors were awesome. Even the creepy characters. I recommend that you see this movie.
5
Out of control laughs by shbenner
There was only one lull towards the end of the movie while everybody is figuring themselves out, but the rest of the film is literally 'fall out of your chair' funny.
4
Not As Funny As You Expect, But Still Funny by Reel Reviewer
Personally, I think the movie is So-So, but since "Ted" is a comedy just like all the others of recent years most people will say it's a "Must Go." I decided to split the difference and explain why. I believe that Seth MacFarlane is much funnier than this. He has exemplary humor yet continues to cheapen his craft with Seth Rogen-esque jokes. The trailer is hilarious and there's hilarity to be found - "You owe me lobster money!" - but I sat idle just watching and waiting to laugh at something creative for much of the time. Mark Wahlberg was funny and did a good job, Mila Junis as well while also looking smolderingly sexy and the support cast was very good also. Overall, it's a good film with story and plot and characters you root for and against, but I'm still waiting for the time when cheap humor isn't the main type to be found but sparsely sprinkled in. So see "Ted" because I believe you should see movies weekly and it's at least above another Judd Apatow cheap joke comedy.
5
Wonderful!! by PIRATE144
I thought TED was a great movie! Very funny and entertaining. A little raunchy at times, but overall a very good movie. I'm going to see it again.........
5
Ted - Funny as Heck! by Mousedancing
Laugh out loud funny throughout the movie. Rude, irreverent, but being that most of the rudest remarks come from a teddy bear it makes it okay to laugh along. Do not take kids! Warning, after you leave the theater you will feel like quipping one-liners to your friends based upon 80's references. Definitely go see this if you want to just sit back and laugh.
3
ted by nika81999
saw it friday 13. i love family guy. but it was very raunchy and some parts are funny. overall i could of waited for the netflick
4
I really enjoyed it by logarx
I thought it was a funny movie. I watch all of Seth McFarlans shows (Family Guy, American Dad, etc..) so I'm into that style of humor. The acting was good, the cgi was fantastic. If you have a twisted sense of humor like I do you'll find this an enjoyable & funny movie. Definitely an adult movie.