Dave White
Smokin' Aces Review

Dave's Rating:


… aesthetically bankrupt …

Who's in It: Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Ben Affleck, Alicia Keys, Jason Bateman, Common, Andy Garcia

The Basics: A Las Vegas magician gets involved in the mob. Then he turns. Now the FBI has to find him before a very large and competitive group of hired assassins does first. It's the most reasonably entertaining yet pointless people-pointing-guns-in-each-other's-faces movie to come along since whatever the last reasonably entertaining yet pointless people-pointing-guns-in-each-other's-faces movie was. I forget the title of that one. I will most likely forget the title of this one by the end of the month.

What's the Deal?You can look at this movie from two directions really. Either it's the derivative son of macho-BS-posturing movies like the ones Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino and their other imitators make, therefore making it aesthetically bankrupt and not worth your time, or …

What's Cool About It: … or you can focus on the surface details like brawling hookers, lesbian contract killers, cocaine-cam shots of Piven sweating and bleeding from the eyes, kung-fu fighting kids with Ritalin erections, Bateman in women's panties, point blank elevator shoot-outs, gruesome makeup tricks like fake boils and herpes sores, dead people being used as ventriloquist dummies and the guy who played Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. OK, yes, I know you just decided to go see it based on this list. I don't blame you.

Who'll Like This Movie: Everyone who still refuses to go see Letters From Iwo Jima or The Queen.

Biggest Gun in a Movie Nominee, 2007: The gigantic thing that Taraji P. Henson uses to shoot people from several hundred yards away. I didn't even know they made weapons that large. And because she's the killer lesbian, I couldn't figure out if it was meant to be an accessory of empowerment or just a male action director's dumb idea about sapphic penis envy. Not that it matters much when she starts killing people. That's when it gets sort of excellent actually.


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