Who's in It:
Maria Bello, Mary Stuart Masterson, Erika Christensen, Tony Goldwyn, Elizabeth Banks, Chris O'Donnell, Eric McCormack, Rip Torn, Alessandro Nivola, Steven Culp
The Basics: You were expecting Chekhov? That's what you get. It's an updated version of Three Sisters, and it's set in academia. That's why everyone's using the five-buck words.
What's the Deal? If you hate it when theater actors get all actorly and show-offy and grandiose, then you'll want to stab yourself in the head while watching this one, because every single person on-screen is GOING FOR IT IN A BIG, BIG WAY! Meanwhile, the script is a bunch of psychodrama and extravagantly irritating verbal sparring. It's like watching a debate team implode.
Drugs in Movies: It's about these three sisters, all of whom are haunted by their family's past. Whatever. That's the boring part. The interesting part is when Erika Christensen's character overdoses on crystal meth. First the script has to explain to the audience what crystal meth is. And then you see Christensen in the hospital looking healthy and serene. Ever seen an Oprah episode about meth? Those folks have scabs all over their emaciated faces and they're singing nursery rhymes to themselves.
Who's Cool in This Dumb Movie: Maria Bello, who was incredible in A History of Violence (and didn't even embarrass herself in Coyote Ugly, now that I think about it). She gets to snarl and snap and insult everyone around her. And they deserve it, so she's a blast to watch.
All You Really Need to Know: This is the kind of movie in which modern human beings living in the real world call their parents "Father" and "Mother."