Who's In It: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Chris Noth, John Corbett, David Eigenberg, Mario Cantone, Willie Garson, Liza Minnelli, Penelope Cruz
The Basics: Carrie Bradshaw and her BFFs are back for yet another jet-setting, estrogen-fueled romp after finding happiness -- well, sort of -- in their last big-screen shriek fest. What's their excuse for coming back this time? Well, after two years of marriage to Mr. Big (Chris Noth), Carrie's grown a bit bored with wedded bliss. Meanwhile, Charlotte's freaking out over her two unruly kids, Miranda's had it with her boss, and Samantha's battling the onset of menopause by following the teachings of Suzanne Sommers. So naturally, there's only one solution to these besties' crippling first world problems: an all expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi! Oh, but first, they'll have to attend the world's most extravagant gay wedding, complete with Liza Minnelli doing the "Single Ladies" dance. Then they can wear couture on camels, order gay Middle Eastern butlers around, sing "I Am Woman" in a karaoke joint and complain about how it must suck to be a Muslim woman because you have to eat French fries under your burqa, all under the pretense of working out what marriage means. Yes, it's all just as soulless and materialistic as you'd expect.
What's The Deal: There's really only one reason to make another Sex and the City movie, and that's to make another bajillion dollars from (mostly) female moviegoers eager to revisit their beloved SATC characters while, perhaps more importantly, ogling the sparkly clothes and pricey Louboutins that these brassy broads go through like other people go through toilet paper. Writer-director Michael Patrick King skips the poop jokes and major downers he loaded into the first SATC movie, but he manages to still make Carrie an unlikable wretch who this time is complaining about the very thing she whined endlessly to get the last go round: her marriage to Big. Worse, King's two and a half hour flick stops and starts in such erratic rhythms that by the halfway point you'll be begging for the girls to fly off to Abu Dhabi, already! If only it were two and a half hours of Liza doing Beyonce numbers. (At 64, she's still got it!) Now that would be a truly fabulous two and a half hours well spent.
Who It Offends: Oh, only womankind -- women are so complainy, so insecure… but you know what'd fix any marriage on the rocks? A gift of expensive jewelry! Also, gays -- as in, this wedding is so homosexual there are swans and men singing show tunes! And last but not least, the conservative Muslim world -- those silly religious people and their conservative moral principles are practically begging to watch Samantha Jones have sex and talk about her labia in public, and how dare they get offended by her liberated womanhood!
Use Of Couture As A Political Statement: Despite its rumored $10 million wardrobe budget, SATC2 is shockingly sparse on the fabulous, show-stopping fashion -- there's not a ginormous flower dress or emotionally resonant pair of Blahniks to be found. (That said, Carrie briefly sports a pair of gold glitter Louboutins that deserve supporting cast credit. I am not unmovable.) The only time the clothes deserve notice is when a group of Muslim women secretly reveal that beneath their burqas, they're just as fashion- and looks-obsessed as their liberated American counterparts.
When To Watch It: When it comes out on DVD. Watch in the privacy of your own home, because nobody needs to know your dirty little materialistic secret. Plus, if we avoid seeing it in theaters, they'll be less inclined to make Sex and the City 3D: Still Complaining.