Who's In It:Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, Costas Mandylor, Meagan Good
The Basics: Slice, chop, struggle, scream, die, talk, talk, talk, talk, flashback, talk, talk, talk, trap, struggle, fight, scream, decapitate, die, run, flashback, talk, talk, talk, explode, die, run, flashback, talk, talk, talk, explain, explain, explain, electrocute, flashback, talk, talk, talk, saw, mutilate, trap, crush, escape, yawn.
What's The Deal:When your horror franchise has gone bankrupt creatively, and when it did so three sequels ago, do you not stop and think to yourself, "Hey, it's wrong to keep screwing with the audience and teasing them and stringing them along and making these movies more and more boring and useless" or do you think, "Wow! More money!" and then just hurl your naked body into a heap of it that you keep in a special room of your house near the Pit Bull cages? I now know the answer to that question.
Why You "Won't Believe How It Ends:" Because it's not going to. As usual, the final shot sets up the inevitability of part six. Swell.
Just For The Record: I'm a huge horror fan. The stuff doesn't even have to be scary as long as there's an insane, offensive-to-the-weak-of-stomach-and-the-hand-wringing-moralists amount of gore. I love gore. And they skimp on that, too. Seriously, don't bother with this one.