Dave White
Saw IV Review

Dave's Rating:

2.0

… about as scary as a bite-size Snickers bar.

Who's in It: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson, Betsy Russell, Lyriq Bent, Athena Karkanis

The Basics: It starts with Jigsaw's autopsy, so, yes, he's still dead. And it's a good nasty autopsy, too, if that's what you're into. But just because he's gone doesn't mean he didn't leave behind a living will and some helpers to execute it. Get it? Execute? I crack me up.

What's the Deal? You have to wonder why, besides tradition's sake, they hold these movies until Halloween. Because they're about as scary as a bite-size Snickers bar. However, they are disgusting, which is the next best thing, and the machines of doom — the only reason I'm personally interested anymore — are still inventively sick, even if the "rules" of engagement with the victims are flimsy by this point. Add to that the fact that the plot twists have lost their capacity to surprise, and you really don't have much left. All you need to know by now is that Jisgaw's accomplices just keep recruiting freshly aggrieved misanthropes to help carry out the killings. Then you find out who it is at the end. Wow.

Actors of Note: And by "of note" I mean that Betsy Russell of Avenging Angel fame is back (if you've never seen the '80s Angel series of films, then you're really missing something swell — they're the Lord of the Rings of high-school-hooker-revenge movies). Meanwhile, Donnie Wahlberg gets to do nothing but go "UUUUGGGGHHHHH!" through the entire movie, and Scott Patterson, fresh from seven years as "Luke the Grumpy Diner Owner" on the WB's cute-as-a-bug Gilmore Girls, just comes off like "Luke the Grumpy Detective."

Grossest Moment: Don't be late for that autopsy bit at the beginning, because it's really the coolest part.

Rated R. Ha! I think that somebody could make an actual snuff film and get an "R" as long as no one was having sex. Meanwhil, Lust, Caution gets an NC-17 because you see Tony Leung's scrotum. Thanks for protecting us from that, MPAA. Y'all are the best.

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