Dave White
Revolver Review

Dave's Rating:

1.0

… a great big swirly bowl of nothing making sense.

Who's in It: Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, André Benjamin, Vincent Pastore

The Basics: Con man gets out of prison, immediately goes back to messing with the people who got him in trouble in the first place then hooks up with a pair of new con men who want to take him along on a very weird ride. Crime-movie types come and go — rival gangs, unstoppable bad guys, mysterious bosses, Liotta in leopard-print bikini underpants — but none of it is what it seems. It's all "about" those things instead of just being about those things, a great big swirly bowl of nothing making sense.

What's the Deal? Remember how Guy Ritchie used to make fun crime movies? Remember how stylish and cool they were, kinda funny and still really rough around the edges? Remember then how MADONNA CAME ALONG AND SPOILED EVERYTHING? Well, now it seems like her Kabbalah influence has Mr. Ciccone all strung out on deeper meanings, because this cuckoo-bananas film is all about the Ego and how your mind can get super messed-with by life. Meanwhile, I think she's snapped his mind clean in half.

Be Sure to Stay Until the End, and Here's Why: That's when there's a scroll of philosophers and spirituality experts and psychologists and whatever it is that Deepak Chopra is, all of them talking about the effects of the Ego on the mind. What this has to do with the nonstop meaningful chess games that Statham plays with André 3000, or what it has to do with the sudden shift to anime that takes place mid-movie, or what it has to do with, OK, anything going on here, is for Ritchie to explain on the inevitable DVD commentary track.

Rent This One Instead: Snatch, his earlier one from a few years back. At least in that, when Brad Pitt talks and you don't understand a word coming out of his mouth, you're actually not supposed to.

Camera Trick I'm Fed Up With: The frenzied lens-shaking that stands in for psychological splintering. This film marks its official one-millionth use.

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