Dave White
The Quiet Review

Dave's Rating:

0.5

… super effed-up.

Who's in It: Camilla Belle, Elisha Cuthbert, Edie Falco, Martin Donovan

The Basics: Hello, deaf person. I know you can't hear me so I'm going to use you as a confessor and tell you every horrible thing about my life and my family. Because you're deaf, see, so it's not like you're a person, really. It's not gross, right? It's like having a stuffed animal or imaginary friend to talk to — something like that — isn't it?

What's the Deal? Check it out, bad movie fans. This one is super effed-up. Like, in that way where you can't believe the actors read the script beforehand. Or you wonder whether maybe someone tricked them into doing the movie by handing them a different script, getting them to sign a contract and then changing it all up at the last minute. Because really, what does Falco need to do sleazy stuff like this for? But still, fun trick to play, whoever did it.

How Lesbian Is It? Enough to satisfy teenage boys and the very easy-to-please fans of teen girls ironing cheerleading outfits in their underwear.

Um … Cough … Pedigree … Cough: Jamie Babbitt is the director. She also made the hideously unfunny lesbian comedy But I'm a Cheerleader. Someone really digs cheerleaders here. Knock yourself out, I say. Male directors do it all the time, after all.

Sundance, Bloody Sundance: Guess what well-known indie "lab" this came from? One guess! One! Hint: the one that can't get enough of dysfunctional family dramas.

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