Dave White
Quarantine Review

Dave's Rating:

4.5

...scary, jolt-filled and happily gross...

Who’s In It: Jennifer Carpenter, Jay Hernandez, Columbus Short, Greg Germann, Johnathan Schaech

The Basics: A TV crew shooting a human interest story about the lives of firefighters winds up tagging along on a death-and-doom-filled emergency call. They’re summoned to a sprawling, ancient Los Angeles apartment building inhabited by shrieking ghouls who’ve contracted super-rabies and then attack, chomp and infect everything in their path. Worse, the CDC just sealed the building with the rescue team still inside. Time to die!

What’s The Deal: What I personally love about the someone’s-filming-this-in-real-time horror genre is its total absence of logic. Yes, the Blair Witch is chasing you into the kiddie death-house and the Cloverfield monster just unleashed crazy satellite bugs that are going to eat you right here and now, but YOU MUST KEEP FILMING BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE A RECORD OF THIS. ALSO, IT’S GOING TO LOOK BADASS ON YOUTUBE. SRSLY. But whatever. This totally rip-offy movie is still fun and scary, jolt-filled and happily gross enough to make you forget about going to see something that’s supposed to be “good for you.” The Oscar movie season has begun but you’d never know it from watching this.

Current Now-Style Horror Checklist: The aforementioned first-person POV, complete with nausea-inducing lens wiggling—check. Normal, joke-filled, casual life turned upside down and all characters plunged into mind-shredding chaos—check. Absence of unkillable monster because that stuff is from the '80s—check. Remake of horror film from some other country—check (this one comes from a movie called Rec). Themes evoking apocalypse, mass infection and societal collapse—check. Zombies and/or somewhat dead people acting kind of like zombies—check.

Gore Grade: If you’re like me then this is really important and when a movie sexes up your blood-and-guts-lust and then doesn’t deliver (oh hey, Saw V, you still suck and remain unforgiven for taking my ten dollars, just so you know) you feel thoroughly teased, deceived, rooked, let down, played, used. So on a scale of 1 to 10 this is at least a decent 6 or 7 and the deaths are cold, blunt and sometimes downright mean.

One Beef: There’s a thing that happens close to the end—I won’t spoil it—that rips you out of a possible real-life horror situation and plunks you down awkwardly on a date with the near-supernatural. It seemed cheap. Effective, yes, but still cheap.

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