Dave's Rating:

1.5

… trashy, awful, piece-of-crap …

Who's in It: Halle Berry, Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi

The Basics: Halle Berry plays a dangerous game! Of cat and mouse! With Bruce Willis! On that Internet! Because Halle's ex-friend is dead! Bruce did it! Unless he didn't, of course. And that is all you need to know about the fake-you-out plot of this cheater-pants movie because it's the kind that strings you along down a big stupid dead-end road until the ending where the whole thing goes, "Psych!" and everyone in the audience says, "Gosh! We were fooled!" I mean, for crying out loud, that's the entire ad campaign — that commercial where the voiceover guy says, "If you think you know how it ends … "

What's the Deal? Having said that, this is the best thriller of 1991, hands down. I love trashy, awful, piece-of-crap movies like this where the director lets his Oscar-winning lead get all unhinged and screamy, where the Booty-Cam control knob is turned all the way over to the "stun" setting, where everyone's a liar or a mental case or a murderer, where newspaper reporters like Halle get to live in zillion-dollar apartments, where the setting is, conveniently enough, a high-powered ad agency so that the wall-to-wall product placement gets to be passed off as "organic" and not simply about randomly putting a Heineken bottle or Victoria's Secret panties into Halle's hands (although that happens, too, thankfully), and where Bruce finally gets to go back in time — in spirit, at least — and star in a Demi Moore movie again.

Oscar = People's Choice Award: Because if it didn't, if it meant anything at all for more than one night of the year, this woman and Hilary Swank would both have something other than this and The Reaping in theaters now. Watching it reminded me of the documentary directed by Rosanna Arquette called In Search of Debra Winger, about how women in Hollywood are tossed onto the "hag pile" once they hit their mid-thirties. So I hope this cruddy movie and The Reaping are big hits and both women make a swimming pool full of money. Then, later, they can go off and make that "important" indie film again.

Another Thing I Like: When people like Heidi Klum play themselves as human product placement, which she does here, as part of a big Victoria's Secret party scene. She says something like, "Hello, everybody!" and then I think a trap door opens and she disappears.

Scientology Casting Alert: Ribisi, big L. Ron pal, lends his beady-eyed presence to the lurid goings-on. But if you ask me, it should have been Juliette Lewis in his role as the dude-who's-sex-obsessed-with-Halle, mostly because she's that religion's ambassador of coolness.

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