Who's In It: Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant, Kiele Sanchez, Marley Shelton, Chris Hemsworth
The Basics: Vacationing couples in Hawaii are stalked by a killer, a really slow-moving, waits-till-the-end-of-the-movie, dawdling kind of killer. That's because it just might be one of the couples doing the killing. Or maybe not. Either way, everybody here is hanging loose and taking their sweet, tension-free, suspense-deficient time.
What's The Deal: While you're waiting for the killer to start killing everyone, maybe you could play along with the game the filmmaker (David Twohy, director of Pitch Black) is laying on you. His characters all seem to know that they're already in a movie and they want you to guess who's secretly something other than what they say they are. In the process they talk a lot about how movies trick you into believing "A" while setting up "B" to pull the rug out from under you. And that would be okay if it all were as clever as it is self-aware. But it ain't.
What Almost Saves It:
The last 15 minutes where everything goes bananas and characters all instantly transform into super-athletic special ops mayhem-junkie warriors who battle to the death. It's like a Hallmark Channel movie (with F-words) about troubled relationships suddenly turns all stabby and shooty.
The Biggest Problem (And This Is Potentially Something Of A Spoiler But I'll Try To Keep It As Unspoilery As Possible): This movie cheats. One-on-one conversations between characters occur for the sole purpose of leading the audience down the wrong path. And because of these conversations you have to assume that the characters are out of their mind or unnecessarily speaking in code or intentionally breaking the fourth wall just to confuse you.
Where You Know One Cast Member And How You're About To Know Another: Kiele Sanchez is from Lost (is shooting in a Hawaii a vacation gig if you already work there? Do you long for Minnesota instead?). And Australian Chris Hemsworth is about to be in the Red Dawn remake as well as play Thor in both Thor and The Avengers. So you don't even know him yet but you'll be sick of him soon enough.