Who's in It: Karl Urban, Russell Means, Moon Bloodgood, Jay Tavare, Clancy Brown
The Basics: Some Vikings mess with the wrong Native Americans. In fact, they mess with the one tribe that happens to have a Viking in it. See, this Viking was abandoned as a child by his Norse daddy when the kid proved too peaceful for serious slaughter duty. Raised by the peaceful Native Americans, he grows up and helps his tribe battle a new wave of marauding Europeans. Think Apocalypto on a smaller budget and with less visually nasty superviolence.
What's the Deal? Now, when I say it's less visually nasty than Apocalypto, that's not to say it doesn't have its share of gore. The special-effects folks have a pretty good grasp on how to decapitate someone, even if they skimp on the spray of blood. There are some decent impalings and one pretty cool eyeball-removal with subsequent tough-guy self-surgery. But otherwise, it's nowhere near as satisfying on a killing level as Mel's movie. Or 300, for that matter. Maybe because all the cinematography seems to take place in a steel-blue nightscape. Or maybe it's just incompetently made. Anyway, if you're wondering why all I'm talking about is the head-chopping, it's because that's all this movie has to offer. The squib budget must have been generous.
You Subtitle Fans Are Not Mistaken: This is, ostensibly, a sort-of remake of the 1987 Norwegian film also called Pathfinder that was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at that year's Academy Awards. The two films, as you might have guessed, share very little in common.
Lord of the Rings Connection: Lead guy Urban was Eomer in The Two Towers and The Return of the King. But mostly the connection is that the evil Vikings are all dressed up and sound-designed when fighting (lots of roaring lion sounds that no human would really be able to make) to resemble a bunch of Orcs.
Marcus Nispel, Man of Many Moods: Before directing this, here are some of the things he helped bring to life …
1. Amy Grant's "House of Love" video
2. The 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
3. Bone Thugs n Harmony's "War" video
4. Two Cher videos: "Walking in Memphis" and "One by One (Dance Remix)"
I don't know why this juxtaposition of projects makes me so happy right now, but it totally does.