Dave's Rating:


My roommate, the Blair Witch.

Who's In It: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat

The Basics: I'm going to give as little information about this movie as possible here. In fact, just stop reading this review right now. Don't watch trailers. Don't read other reviews. Don't listen to your stupid little buddies talking about how they drove to one of the 10 markets this thing's opening in right now and how they were so unnerved afterwards that they couldn't sleep all night. Just know that it's a movie about noises in your house while you sleep. And that long dark hallway. And OH MY GOD WHAT'S MAKING THAT NOISE DOWN THE LONG DARK HALLWAY!?"

What's The Deal: Zero budget, no stars, shot on what looks like crappy VHS tape, somebody's borrowed house. And when I got home from the midnight press screening last night I really didn't want to walk into my own dark hallway all by myself. So yeah, scariest movie I've seen since The Descent. Thanks for the freakout, filmmakers.

Dear Paramount: First of all, that's a brilliant sales strategy you have going for this thing. Limit the visibility (right now it's in a couple handfuls of markets, none of them big cities) and make people think that they have to participate in your viral marketing campaign in order for you to roll it out to other towns. In other words, everybody's gotta clap real hard or Tinkerbell might not live. Nice work. Whoever thought that one up needs a promotion. But I would also like to say that I AM TOTALLY OLD and my bedtime is like 10 o'clock and I hate all of you for making me stay up late for an 11:59pm press screening watching this thing, necessitating that I return home to my now suddenly haunted house at 2 a.m. Not cool.

One Plot Beef: Why do these people always stick around in the spooky-house, waiting for stuff to get even scarier? I'd be camped out, cowering in the corner of the 24-hour combination Pizza Hut/Taco Bell in the time it takes you to tie your shoes.


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