Who's in It:
Hugh Grant, Drew Barrymore, Kristen Johnson, Haley Bennett
The Basics: The way around the older leading man/younger leading lady quandary (as if anyone in the film industry was feeling all that apologetic about it anyway) is to make it a part of the plot. He's a has-been pop star; she's a never-was. He writes the music, she writes the lyrics and together they bore you into a coma with their total lack of romantic chemistry. The weird thing? They kind of almost pull it off because they're both still pretty adorable on camera. Star power is weird that way.
What's the Deal? Look, I know that Grant knows that this is where his bread's buttered, but if he's going to remain the thinking fan's romantic-comedy heartthrob of choice, then he's going to have to do some more thinking about scripts. Because between this and Two Weeks Notice and Bridget Jones's 2, he's starting to bug me. I want this guy to keep succeeding, because he's funny and witty and all the things you want from the inheritor of the Crown of Cary Grant Who Isn't Already George Clooney. But if this is Hollywood's main Valentine's Day movie, then love is turning into an increasingly dopey concept, and I'm afraid we're going to be stuck with Dane Cook. I don't think anyone wants that after Employee of the Month.
Nominee for Dumbest Sex Scene of '07: They eventually do it under a piano and end up sleeping there all night, only to wake up and both bonk their heads on the underside of the thing. Seriously, it's all a setup for the head-bonking not a word about sleeping on the floor all night making you insanely sore and miserable.
What's Not Awful: The goofy faux-'80s pop video at the beginning. This is what it looks like to have lines digitally erased from your face, kids. And Johnson, who's never not funny as Barrymore's older sister, makes her moments as interesting as the featureless, generic script will allow.
Songs By: Fountains of Wayne guy Adam Schlesinger. None of them sound as cool as "Stacy's Mom," but you can't have everything. He's working on the Broadway adaptation of John Waters' Cry-Baby, so maybe he's giving that one all his best stuff.