Dave's Rating:


… reprehensible …

Who's in It: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian, Kevin Sorbo, Diedrich Bader, Method Man

The Basics: It's 300. But like if 300 were already dumber than it is. And it's got Carmen Electra and Kevin Sorbo. Because they'll do anything for money. Apparently, so will I because it's my job to watch it.

What's the Deal? Take all the recent movies, reality shows and pop-culture celebrity-meltdown moments of the past year or so, the ones that have been analyzed and dissected and goofed on to death already to the point where everyone's completely sick of hearing about them. Then dredge them up again, put it all in a blender and hit the "boring + unfunny" setting. Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat until you're having a good time.

The Most Annoying Thing: Because this movie was written for 10-year-olds, it assumes that those 10-year-olds are the stupidest 10-year-olds alive. So when Ken Davitian, the fat guy from Borat, makes his first appearance, the narration tells you that his character looks like the fat guy from Borat. If I had hair on my head, I would have pulled it out right there in the theater and allowed my own screams to become my entertainment.

The Other Most Annoying Thing: Not the constant gay jokes or the constant shower of feces and puke, but the fact that the movie steals gags from other sources. A bit from Dave Chapelle here, a bit from Mel Brooks there. It's reprehensible of course, but then again its target audience is the niche market of the world's stupidest 10-year-olds.

My One True Hope: That mocking Tom Cruise's nut-job Scientology beliefs will get the filmmakers — responsible for Date Movie and Epic Movie before this — barred from working in Hollywood. But it probably won't.


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