Dave's Rating:


… a big lie.

Who's in It: Hilary Duff, Haylie Duff, Anjelica Huston, Maria Conchita Alonso, Brent Spiner, Lukas Haas

The Basics: Two cosmetics heiresses face losing their fortune when a scandal rocks their late father's company. Then they have to get sleuth-y to find out who's trying to sabotage the place.

What's the Deal? Watching those PETA videos in which you're forced to see poor little bunnies tortured to test lipstick toxicity is way more fun than this. Plus, the tag line of this movie is a big lie. It promises that you'll see both Duffs go from the penthouse to the poorhouse. And that never happens once. Where is my proxy Paris Hilton Schadenfreude? I want to see real torment befall awful, spoiled, shallow, rich people, not cozy low-rent salvation provided by their South American nanny.

What Else Is Stupid and Insulting About This Movie: All the not-rich people in the movie have great life philosophies about what it means to be not rich. That way you don't have to feel sorry for them and their lot in life because they accept their place. However, you're supposed to be on the side of the Duffs because they stand to suffer the indignity of inheriting a mere $60 million apiece instead of the promised $100 million.

Huston, We Have a Problem: Is Anjelica Huston in need of work? Is that why she's in this piece of crap? Is she pals with director Martha Coolidge? Doing a sister a favor? I have no idea. But in a just world in which things weren't all crazy and backward, she'd have her pick of scripts, and I bet she wouldn't glance at this one.

Six Degrees of Marlon Brando: Oh, and check this out. Colleen Camp, who played one of the Playboy Playmates in Apocalypse Now, is in this too, as one of the young women's handlers. So make that fewer than six degrees.


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