Who’s In It: Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Eric Dane, Kathleen Turner
The Basics: The dog runs, jumps, dances, humps legs, eats carpet, eats furniture, eats pillows, eats its own vomit, eats jewelry, knocks over furniture, knocks over children, knocks over adults. All of this is funny stuff. Then the dog gets old. And you should bring some tissue with you or you’re going to have snot all over your sleeve by the time the credits roll. Because it’s kind of merciless that way.
What’s The Deal: Did I mention you were going to cry? That’s not just a little “you might cry if you’re sensitive” admonition. I’m one of the least sensitive people I know and I wept like a fool. Even out in the parking lot after the press screening. So you’re seriously going to cry your stupid eyes out. Like the ugly-cry. Every dog I ever had as a kid was right there on that screen in front of my watery eyes. I even watched a famous old movie critic sitting in front of me lose it completely, which was at least as fascinating as the film itself.
What’s Truly Surprising: This is a family movie in the sense that it’s about a family and love and caring and all that stuff. But it gets major points for not pretending that having kids won’t rob you of your identity and that marriage is always bliss, or that you won’t envy your single friends, that you’ll always get plenty of sex from your spouse or that you'll never resent your own children. It even calls into question the logic of keeping an unruly animal in your home at all. I figured it was going to be one of those nonsense Cheaper By the Dozen movies where everything is perfect all the time, but they keep it fairly real on the human emotion front. Translation for parents bringing small kids: People swear in this movie and Aniston and Wilson play a husband and wife who actually do, you know, "It."
Dear Taggers Who Are Going Around Spray-Painting Major Spoiler Information On Billboard Ads And Bus Stops Posters: Yes, you’re funny. But your big sadness reveal is hardly shocking to anyone who’s ever had a pet.
Totally Erases The Memory Of: Rumor Has It. Now you can enjoy Jennifer Aniston in movies again.