Dave White
The Losers Review

Dave's Rating:

2.0

Appropriately titled.

Who's In It: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada, Jason Patric

The Basics: A group of special forces types, loyal CIA men who did the dirty work until it became too dirty, are on a rebellious mission of justice after they get framed by the very organization they used to serve. They have these guns too. They're pretty good at using them. And the bad guy leader (Jason Patric and his suit and his American flag lapel pin) is just the right kind of slimy and apolitically evil that his downfall can be predicted from the moment he walks on screen, just like everything else in this movie.

What's The Deal: I figured this was going to make me a lot happier than it did. I love weapons. I like loud stuff. I like dumb things. I like senseless violence. I like explosions and tornadoes made of bullets and murder and impossibly violent chicks who can destroy the baddest guy in the movie. I like cynical humor while people are being obliterated. But what I don't like is rote behavior made by people with no feeling for what makes all that stuff a blast, when none of those elements have been juiced with fresh life. You're supposed to take stale bread and make french toast with it, not a dry choking sandwich.

What Makes It Almost Worth Seeing: The cast. They have a kind of clubby camaraderie and chemistry that makes it seem like they're not only having a really good time but that they want you to have one too. You probably won't. As hard as they try it all seems like it's moving underwater instead of flying.

Classics Ripped Off Thoughtlessly And Dumped Out Dull: The Dirty Dozen and The Wild Bunch for starters. If you've seen them then you know what I'm talking about; they're the best examples of the Men Being Violent genre that there are. If you haven't seen those movies then you might consider checking them out first. Once you've experienced them the copycats will bore you.

From The Director Of: Stomp The Yard, which was about dancing and displayed roughly the same listless anemic energy level.

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