Dave's Rating:


… lengthy nothingness …

Who's in It: Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Giovanna Zacarias

The Basics: Zorro is back, and this time he's older.

What's the Deal? Zorro goes to work as an elections supervisor, but some bad guys are trying to get in the way of the California Territory becoming a state. Time for Zorro's stunt double to do a lot of Zorro-ing, which is fun while it lasts. Until it stops being fun and the lengthy nothingness takes over, somewhere around the 90-minute mark, a point at which most silly movies like this have the butt-consideration to start wrapping things up. But no, there's another 40 minutes of derring-do to do.

Who's Having Fun? No one. Not even Zorro. He jumped around a lot more in the first one. He seemed happy to be Zorro. But Banderas can't seem to get the el grumpo look off his face in this one.

A Distinct Lack of Bodice-Ripping: This one's not for grown-ups who want to feel like kids for a bit. It's for kids who want to torture their grown-ups. Apparently, Zeta-Jones' contract wouldn't allow for as much bosom-heaving as before. You know, as in the days of yore and all that.

How Long, Oh Lord? 130 minutes. You know how long Errol Flynn's The Adventures of Robin Hood was? A mere 102 minutes. If you can't pack all the fun you've got into that much time, then you aren't very good at fun-packing.

Percentage of Franchise Speculation: 98 — some studio suit, idea-strip-mined and desperate, woke up one day and said, "Hey we forgot to do Zorro 2! It's only been almost 10 years! It's not too late!" But it was.


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