Who's In It: Monica Potter, Tony Goldwyn, Sara Paxton, Garret Dillahunt
The Basics: A family of homicidal-maniac prison escapees kidnap two teenage girls, rape them and leave them for dead. Then the killer-rapists, needing shelter from a storm, find themselves taken in by one of the girl's parents. When Mom and Dad discover what happened to their daughter, they are understandably annoyed and dispense some creative comeuppance with pickaxes and microwave ovens. Moral: committing a heinous crime 30 feet away from the only house in the area increases the likelihood of your crime's victim having some connection to that building. Next time try maybe the second to the last house on the left.
What's The Deal: If you've seen the original 1972 version of this movie (which director Wes Craven says was his response to The Vietnam War) then you know exactly what happens. But without giving away too much, I can tell you that the plot has been altered in a way that dismantles every single justification for its existence outside of the desire to witness mindless cathartic vengeance. It proves the point of a violent-movie-critiquing violent movie like Funny Games and implicates everyone who looks at it and doesn't walk out after the first 40 minutes. That means this updated quest-for-blood-soaked-justice now has no reason to live and might as well die itself. Having said that, the part with the microwave is really cool and gross and worth the admission price for gorehounds in need of a fix.
Now With Extra Rape: The early scenes of assault in the original film focused more on cheap gore makeup and fake disembowelments than on brutal protracted rape scenes. Aiming to shock a more jaded modern audience and correcting that obvious error was the apparent mandate of this remake. So now you get long, longer, loooooongest scenes of the two young women being beaten and violated. On the scale of un-sit-through-able, it's not quite at Captivity-level disgust and repulsion, but it's close. It's not fun to watch at all and will make you long for the 1972 version's comic-relief moments featuring chicken trucks and goofy banjo music. And if it is fun for you to watch then you have a problem. There, the guy who liked the microwave scene just judged you.
Impress Your Friends With Movie Knowledge You Got Off The Internet: Even the original Last House was based on Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring. Except in that Swedish art-house hit there's no awesome moments of human beings getting themselves ripped apart, no one suffering through their "bathing suit area" being chewed off by a mom on the warpath and no raw documentary-like violence.