Dave White
Kid & I Review

Dave's Rating:

0.0

… shockingly weird …

Who's in It: Tom Arnold, Eric Gores, Richard Edson, Joe Mantegna, Shannon Elizabeth, Linda Hamilton, Henry Winkler, Jamie Lee Curtis, Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Basics: A rich guy whose teenage kid has cerebral palsy and is obsessed with the film True Lies gets his Hollywood buddies to make an action movie starring the kid.

What's the Deal? OK, you just read what the movie is about. Now get this — that's also what this movie really is. The guy who bankrolled it is a bazillionaire, and actor Eric Gores is his son. Gores has cerebral palsy, and so Dad really did commission Tom Arnold to write a movie about a rich kid with cerebral palsy who gets Tom Arnold to write an action movie for him to star in called Two Spies. Oh, yeah, and the movie ends with the kid kissing a model in a hot tub. Feeling all weird inside yet?

Yes, It Gets Even More Bizarre: Tom Arnold, of course, was in True Lies and then Schwarzenegger shows up, as does Jamie Lee Curtis. In fact, director Penelope Spheeris appears as herself, playing the director of the movie within a movie. So it's like Day for Night for really dumb people.

Our Arms Are Too Short to Really Pat Ourselves on the Back the Way We'd Like: This is a "let's all pull together and make this kid's dream come true" movie, which wouldn't be a big deal if it were fiction. But it's clearly almost a documentary, which means that not only does the story praise the movie-star "characters" for being so generous with their time and love of Gores' "character," it's also a story written, starring and directed by the very people it's about. I think I just gave myself a headache.

Pour Some Sugar on Me; OK, Not That Much: Only go see this movie if you have one or more of the following internal qualities:

1. A seriously high tolerance and masochistic enjoyment of sweetly sentimental dialogue and inspirational uplift.
2. A seriously high tolerance for a teenage character named "Aaron" who prefers to go by "A-Dog." Or maybe it's "Dawg." Who knows.
3. A seriously high tolerance for shockingly weird vanity projects.

Why You Should See It Anyway: You'll have a great Bad Movie Experience story to tell your friends, who'll be slack-jawed in amazement at your film-going stamina.

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