Whoz Innit: Justin Bieber, Usher Raymond, Jaden Smith, Miley Cyrus, Ludacris, Sean Kingston, LA Reid
Tha Basicz: This is a concert documentary following Justin Bieber on his 2010 tour, which included a sold out date at Madison Square Garden. It comes complete with factoids about his life and rise to superstardom, as well as plenty of screaming girls, purple clothing, and Miley Cyrus in a short dress. The film is basically the moving embodiment of Tiger Beat magazine.
Whutz the Deel: As far as concert docs go, this one doesn't offer any variation from the formula and will satisfy fans. For everyone else, there is very little compelling story to sink your teeth into. The kid has only been alive 16 years, and a star for about 1 of those years, so this documentary offers a proportionate amount of information--he has a good voice, he's left handed, he uploaded some videos to youtube, he sold out the Garden, end scene. Most of the documentary seems like a stretch for time, including some tension about his vocal chords being stressed out. Guess what other time I saw that? Truth or Dare. Guess which movie delighted me more at the prospect of the stressed vocal chords being a result of some sort of sexual escapade? Also Truth or Dare. In this movie, there's just an abundance of Tweeting about how he didn't want to "disappoint u" and that he's sorry :(. No Warren Beatty cameos here.
ZOMG: The best part of the movie is the fans. I could watch girls with crazy eyes squeal and demand to be his first wife all day long. I chortled with delight thinking about how Selena Gomez better stay out of dark alleys, because those girls will not hesitate to rip her apart like Pinhead in Hellraiser. And as a bonus, the film can be used as evidence down the road when one of the interviewees snaps and starts slashing Beeb's hoodies while he sleeps.
IMHO: Best part of the movie: Justin Bieber slow-mo hair shake in 3D. Thanks, Jon Chu! The rest of the 3D is pointless, but this is art.
TTYL: I was genuinely surprised to see how talented this kid is with instruments--I already knew he has pipes. Currently I am disinterested in his music, but once he ages and is forced to start expanding on his talents, I think we might see something interesting (Justin Timberlake, anyone?). I am excited for the day that he goes REALLY unplugged and puts his most powerful, raw ability on display. In the meantime, I'm just : /