Who's in It:
Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Ving Rhames, Dan Aykroyd
The Basics: It's kind of like Brokeback Mountain but in reverse. Two straight firefighters have to hide the fact that they're not really gay or risk possible severe consequences. And it all lives in the framework of an extended episode of The King of Queens. And so for that reason alone, it's a pretty radical movie, taking gay understanding to an audience that, on paper at least, isn't known for its concern about that sort of thing.
What's the Deal? On the other hand, it's also a really dumb piece of junk, positioning its characters in a fantasyland where being gay means you've got a ticket to easy street that straight people are somehow unjustly denied, and where people throw around the word married as though it were legal for anyone but male-female couples outside of Canada or the state of Massachusetts (it's still not, by the way). But on those terms, it's got a knuckleheaded appeal that still gets it over. If this movie were a person I could have an actual conversation with, I would tell it, "You're an idiot, but thanks for trying."
How Many Jokes About Dropping the Soap Does It Take to Screw in a Lightbulb? I won't spoil it by answering that question, but it's all in there, including jokes about which guy is "the man" and which one is "the woman," a coming-out moment with a supporting character where he turns on a dime from masculine to feminine and trite religious protestors who manage to make a drag queen cry. I don't know about y'all, but I've known some drag queens in my life, and weeping over the haters is about the last thing you'll ever see them doing. And I haven't decided if I was more annoyed by that stuff or by the "we all learned our lesson" part that comes later.
Gay Fringe: Old-school gay Richard Chamberlain shows up near the end, Dave Matthews plays a gay boutique clerk with kooky pursed lips and limp wrist, and Lance Bass sings a song at the end to remind you that he was once in a boy band that people enjoyed.
What Other Movie Featuring Aykroyd Living in a Fire Station Is Better Than This: Ghostbusters.