Dave's Rating:

1.0

… As a huge fan of unintentional comedy, I can wholeheartedly recommend it as that …

Who's in It: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough, Brian Geraghty, Spencer Garrett, Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon

The Basics: Lohan awakens from a coma after being kidnapped and tortured only to insist that she's not the girl it happened to, that she's got a doppelganger and that that young woman is the one that's still in real danger. But then this is a girl whose current connection to lucid thought is sort of up in the air, so for all the audience knows there could even be three of her.

What's the Deal? As a huge fan of unintentional comedy, I can wholeheartedly recommend it as that. I mean, yes, this is a talented young actor whose current real-life problems are dwarfing any discussion of her on-screen work, and the problems are serious and potentially life-threatening, but that doesn't make watching this movie any less hilarious.

What Sucks About It: It flirts with the recently fashionable "torture-porn" genre without fully committing, it announces plot advancements rather than showing them to you and it barely makes sense, even if it's all someone's dream. Of course you won't know if it is or if it isn't until the end. Maybe not even then if you nodded off once or twice like I did.

Being a Grown-Up Means: Being sexually omnivorous, apparently. At least that's what you get from Lohan's "tough girl" act in this and the also crappy Georgia Rule.

Drinking Game: Well, it would be too easy to tell you to down one any time one of the Lilos in this film gets wasted (one of her personas here is as a stripper, and that sort of thing is lazy movie shorthand for Sad Sex Worker). Better to take a drink any time another actor has a sour facial expression in the presence of Lohan — which you can imagine is genuine resentment over their co-star's late arrival to the set that day.

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