Who's In It: Tilda Swinton, Flavio Parenti, Alba Rohrwacher, Pippo Delbono, Marisa Berenson, Edoardo Gabbriellini
The Basics: Tilda Swinton is the Russian-born matriarch of an extremely wealthy Italian family whose strong insular way of life is slowly fracturing from the inside. Not only is the titan-of-industry grandfather handing down his business to both his son and his grandson, claiming it will take two men to replace him, but the youngest daughter is slowly coming out as a lesbian and not doing a very good job at keeping it the secret she hopes it will remain. (Next time maybe don't chop off all the hair at once?). Meanwhile, Swinton's eldest son has become close friends with a handsome young chef who thrills her a little too much with his delicate, artfully prepared prawn lunch specials. And then later with his penis.
What's The Deal: Director Luca Guadagnino has seen Luchino Visconti's 1963 masterpiece The Leopard a few times. And a lot of Douglas Sirk films too. Which is cool. If you're going to be influenced by and take little nibbles from the plates of other directors and then put your own oddball, digressive, daydream-hazy spin on it then those are good ones to choose. So he lifts the visual and tonal indulgences of those movies and slathers it all on a family melodrama about unleashed desire, seething silences, wild sex in the Italian countryside, emotionally mirrored mom-and-daughter plots, obsessive lingering over opulent sets and Tilda Swinton's outfits (seriously, if Sex and the City 2 disappointed you for that reason alone, then get yourself over to the art house theater see this one fast), including a third-act bonk on the head that propels everyone into even more heaving, impulsive actions--Life is short! Get yours now!--than the ones that came before. Tim Gunn would call it "a lot of look." But that's kind of the point.
Food Porn-As-Plot Alert: Aside from the imperious weirdo majesty that is SWINTON (You gotta write it in all caps like the ladies over at GoFugYourself.com if you're going to give the woman the props she's due) you'll be most captivated by the scenes of people eating; that is, after you're captivated by the scenes of rich people's cribs and endless amounts of servants walking around drawing the curtains and handing out pre-breakfast glasses of orange juice. The moment when Tilda tastes the prawns prepared for her by the studly bearded soulful chef guy is a deliriously high art moment of food equalling sex. Then later, the most beautifully strange and gelatinous-looking fish soup becomes the catalyst for a total maelstrom.
Other Compellingly Odd Touches: A John Adams score that refuses to take a back seat to anything. It's loud, it's pushy, it's hypnotic and it's all intentional, like someone daring you to plug your ears. Meanwhile, make sure you stay until the credits, which features not only credits so tiny as to be unreadable, but also what appears to be the murkiest, most eyeballs-confusing shot ever of Swinton and her chef hiding in an underwater cave. It's either that or a seamonster waving at the camera.
Old-School Cool: Be on the lookout for '70s model/actress Marisa Berenson (she was in Kubrick's Barry Lyndon and at least one very special episode of Who's the Boss?) as the most high-toned, arched-eyebrow Italian lady you'd ever not want to make angry.