Dave's Rating:


It's … for no one.

Who's in It: Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Billy Connolly and the voices of Bill Murray, Bob Hoskins, Tim Curry, Richard E. Grant, Rhys Ifans, Sharon Osbourne

The Basics: It's not Babe's fault that cruddy movies full of real animals with moving, talking mouths (like this one) exist at all. But it's tempting to want to point the finger, and you can always point at studio executives with money as their vision. But I guess if you're 4 years old, you're going to love it just for Garfield.

What's the Deal? It's the kind of movie that's for no one. Kids won't get the adult jokes, and adults will be bored. All that's left is Garfield being cute. I spent my time thinking about what Murray spent his money on. He doesn't seem like the hookers-and-blow type, and I know he's got a lot of kids, so this is probably another college tuition or three at least. Maybe a new roof for that vacation home? Getting the pool retiled, perhaps?

How Your Children Will Respond, if the Advance Screening I Attended Is Any Indicator: The second, and I mean the split second, that CG Garfield and his talking animal buddies aren't doing wacky antics and Meyer and Hewitt come on-screen, there will be restlessness, bathroom and candy demands, whining and squealing.

Everybody Hates Movie Critics: Joining a distinguished list of film critics who've been rewarded for their negative reviews by having a movie villain named after them (see General "Kael" in Willow and Officer "Siskel" in The Ref) is New York Times critic Manohla Dargis, immortalized as the evil "Lord Dargis" and played by Connolly.

Percentage of the Movie's 80 Minutes Consumed by Fart Jokes: Eight or so. It's an approximation, but I've been pretty accurate in the past.


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