G-Force is being hailed as the first animated feature from producer Jerry Bruckheimer (National Treasure, Pirates of the Caribbean), and it's as good an explanation as any for what works -- and what doesn't -- in this 3-D Disney kid's film.
To hit the positives first: Bruckheimer's style of bombastic action flick translates surprisingly well to a story about rodents. Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover) is Ben, an FBI researcher who's trained a small zoo of critters to be secret agents. His main operatives are three guinea pigs, Darwin (voiced by Sam Rockwell), Blaster (Tracy Morgan), and Juarez (Penelope Cruz), who all use tiny computers and state-of-the-art spyware to infiltrate a bad guy's lair, Mission Impossible style. They get backup from their computer genius, a mole named Speckles (Nicolas Cage) and a fly equipped with surveillance equipment.
When Ben's bosses put the kibosh on his operation, the G-Force know that if they can bring down sinister billionaire industrialist Leonard Saber (who's planning to launch a Microsoft-like plan to connect every appliance he manufactures, to some sort of evil end) then they can prove their worth to the FBI.
It's a surprisingly well-plotted action story, more so than most of what adults are getting in the genre these days. Sadly, though, that's pretty much where all the creativity ends. The script is attributed to five writers -- Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, the quartet who created 2007's National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Confession of a Shopoholic's Tim Firth. Somewhere in the process of all these cooks, the screenplay turned out trite, charmless and lacking in any notable punch.
Outstandingly funny men like Galifianakis and Will Arnett, as an FBI agent on the guinea pigs' trail, are given nothing to work with, and come off as one-dimensional second bananas. Their characters could have literally been played by any of a thousand unknown actors, and the result would have been the same. Nighy's villain barely appears, and when he does, he's not threatening. And the weak attempt at creating an ethnically diverse team is unfortunate, with Cruz's Latina guinea pig sporting thick eyelashes and an even thicker accent -- while, naturally, being the romantic focus of the two males -- and Morgan's character is given ridiculous "black" lines of dialogue like, ""That was off the hizz-ook!"
Additionally, the modern 3-D technique, which does look terrific when used with full animation, is considerably less effective when used with live-action images, creating what looks like a number of flat layers stacked in front of each other. Smaller kids may still be wowed by the effect, and enchanted by the talking guinea pigs ... but discerning older children and smart adults will be disappointed by the limp dialogue.