Dave's Rating:


Topless waterskiing = death.

Who's In It: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, Aaron Yoo, Derek Mears

The Basics: Jason kills people. Then he kills some more people. It's his job, after all. He's got some really conservative ideas about how to behave, see. You can't smoke weed. You can't do "it." You can't water ski topless. You need to be punished for having too much fun. Also, you can't go into a toolshed looking for a hammer. Those are his hammers. You didn't ask permission. You will be impaled. Then, during Jason's off-hours, he goes around killing more people. It's how he unwinds in his "me-time."

What's The Deal: Last time you saw Jason he was carrying Freddy's decapitated head off for disposal. And I don't know about you, but I was really hoping for another round of that. Failing getting that need served, I was hoping for something really frantic and relentless and rad. The movie opens that way, like in the Dawn of the Dead remake style, jolting you with shock after freaked-out shock. It tricks you into thinking the whole movie is going to be nonstop mayhem. And then it slooooooowwwwwssss down. And the killings become somewhat traditional. And the ending is sampled from an earlier F13 installment. And you leave the theater thinking, "Yeah, it was okay." Disappointing, but not misery-making. Now you get to decide if that's enough.

Best Kevin Bacon Reference: When Aaron Yoo (one of the gays from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist) meets his end. No, that's not a spoiler really because everyone in these movies gets killed and you know it, especially if they're not the clear-cut "good kids" who never have sex or do drugs.

How Necessary It Feels: Not at all. It's always nice to see Jason in action, always a welcome sight to see him destroying more lives, but this movie comes with the attached presumption that you, the viewer, will be totally on board for rebooting the story, setting it back to zero and forgetting what came before. And honestly, this movie didn't sell me on that idea hard enough. Step it up next time. I need more frenzy, more gore, more intensity, more of everything.

Bonus Points For: A faster moving, more hulk-like Jason; a nice "origins of the goalie mask" sequence; Travis Van Winkle's performance channelling James Spader from Pretty in Pink and Less Than Zero and a willingness to give in to the supernatural "Frosty the Snowman" qualities Jason has always possessed. You put that mask on his head and he begins to dance around. That's how it should be.


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