Who's in It: Hugh Jackman, Rachel Weisz, Ellen Burstyn, Sean Patrick Thomas, Ethan Suplee
The Basics: Jackman and Weisz are lovers throughout the centuries. At one point he's a Spanish conquistador, and she's Queen Isabela. Then he's this modern doctor, and she's his dying wife Izzi. Then he's bald, and it's the future and he's floating in a space bubble in the lotus position and she's … a tree. I think. He talks to the tree a lot. Whispers sweet nothings to it. It's got to be her.
What's the Deal? Are you one of those sticklers for things making total sense? Because if you are then (A) you're boring and have no sense of adventure and (B) you won't like this very much. I still can't figure out what the chronology of the stories were — or even if there was a chronology. Maybe they're all happening at exactly the same time. Maybe the space bubble part comes first. I don't know that it matters much. I just like movies that bring The Crazy.
Anyway, Here Are Several Possible Explanations: I think it's about the history of love, about the inevitability of loss and how much that freaks us all out. It's about Jackman looking like a cross between a preemie and Dr. Evil when he's totally bald. And most of all, it's about how totally in L-U-V director Darren Aronofsky is with his leading lady and real-life wife Weisz. Because he shoots her here like she's the most beautiful woman in the world. It doesn't hurt that she kind of already is.
Why Films Like This Are Awesome: If it were the late 1960s, it would be considered a "trip" movie, and everyone would get stoned and go see it. But now it's the kind of film that I guarantee gave some studio suits more than a few sleepless nights. I would give anything to have been an invisible pair of eyes and ears in whatever meetings took place where everyone got upset and said, "Holy crap, we can't release this insane thing into theaters."
My Favorite Part: I'm trying to figure out a way to say this without spoiling too much or getting too R-rated. But Jackman and the tree have a moment. And if tree-jaculate isn't a word, it should be. That's all I'm sayin.'