Dave's Rating:

1.5

… feels like something they did on the side one weekend …

Who's in It: Omarion Grandberry, Giancarlo Esposito, Melonie Diaz

The Basics: A troubled teen is shipped off to Puerto Rico to live with his long-absent father. Once there, the rapping and rag-on-head-wearing young man enjoys a snow cone, meets some honeys, runs afoul of local thugs and, most importantly, becomes a reggaeton convert. After that, he and his buddy decide to become reggaeton stars. And then they do. It's all pretty simple in that world after you get the snow cone.

What's the Deal? Jennifer Lopez produced this movie, and it's the kind of film that feels like something they did on the side one weekend when they were all down in PR filming exteriors for El Cantante. Like everyone on that shoot had a personal assistant and those folks got to make their own movie about whatever they wanted. And when voting time came somebody said, "Reggaeton! Like when there were those lambada movies! Remember those?!"

Best Lines in the Movie: They happen early. Even though main troubled teen Omarion Grandberry professes to be a fan of Daddy Yankee and Pitbull, this doesn't convince his new Puerto Rican friend that he truly understands the music. So the friend explains it all out loud for the sake of any audience members who've been living in a musical cave for the past eight or so years. "It's called reggaeton. It's hip-hop and dancehall reggae and salsa and merengue!" Not long after that, someone says, "Reggaeton is where it's at!"

Approximate Number of Times Booties Go Pop Onscreen: 26. That's a rough estimate. I got up to get some Milk-Duds at one point, so I may have missed half a dozen or so while I was gone.

Intended Audience: Based on the late-morning matinee I went to today (no advance press screenings for this one, much like the way they don't show stuff like Dragon Wars to critics either), you'll presumably enjoy this movie best if you're 15, skipping school, making out with your boyfriend half the time you're in the theater and talking on your cell phone for the other half.

Share
RSS RSS

Comments (0)

Opinions are like... well, everyone's got one. We know you do too, so share it below.

Leave a Comment

Advertisement

Dave's recent reviews

All Dave White's Movie Reviews