Dave's Rating:

1.0

A bunch of annoying white people …

Who's in It: Morgan Freeman, Greg Kinnear, Radha Mitchell, Billy Burke, Selma Blair, Toby Hemingway, Alexa Davalos, Jane Alexander, Fred Ward

The Basics: A bunch of annoying white people get love advice from kindly old African-American sage (Freeman), a man with a sad secret that brought him a deep well of wisdom. And he's got nothing better to do with his time than sit around coffee shops and go for neighborhood strolls with these dorks while dispensing kindhearted words. The title tricks you into thinking maybe some zombies will come along and start devouring everyone's brains. This never happens.

What's the Deal? There are few things worse than movies that act like they know it all about how people really are deep down inside. It's like having some jerk constantly in your face telling you how much he can really read your true feelings and knows you better than you know yourself, man. That's Freeman's job here: to stand by and explain to you who's falling in love and why and how it's all going to go for them. In real life, you'd have better luck trusting a Magic 8-Ball, but somehow in movies, people like this are a dime a dozen.

Who's Great: Mitchell as the cold-hearted, brazenly adulterous real-estate agent who makes a slinky top out of her married boyfriend's dress shirt and then wears it out in public just in time for the guy's wife to see her in it. Yow!

Who Disappears: Blair. After her early scene where she decides she's a lesbian and then angrily storms out of her relationship with Kinnear — because being a lesbian = being angry all of a sudden — she more or less just stops existing as a character; save for one moment where she has that kind of fake lesbian movie sex where she just gently caresses her hot new girlfriend.

Who Should See It: My mom. And she has crap taste in movies. Now, truthfully, if this is what your own mom picks when it's family togetherness time at the cinema, then it's not like it's going to kill you to watch it. But you'll have to suppress your urge to groan and/or laugh out loud so she doesn't accuse you of ruining her good time. Or you could trade in your mom for someone cooler.

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