Grae Drake
Fast Five Review

Grae's Rating:

3.0

The cars go boom. A lot.

Grae's currently on vacation in an exotic land until the end of April. Subbing for her is fellow MDC writer Alonso Duralde. Follow him on Twitter at @ADuralde.

Who's In It: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Dwayne Johnson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Tyrese Gibson, Joaquin de Almeida

The Basics: Dom Toretto (Diesel) is sent to prison for whatever it was that he did in the last movie, so his pal Brian (Walker) and sister Mia (Brewster) stage an elaborate jailbreak that involves the bus that was carting Dom to prison. The three fugitives wind up in Rio de Janeiro where they participate in a car heist from a moving train that makes them the target of both Brazilian crime lord Reyes (de Almeida) and the FBI, who sends Agent Hobbs (Johnson) to lead a team to bring the trio into custody. Our heroes' solution to all this? Stage one last job -- and in case we missed that, Dom actually calls it "one last job" -- taking Reyes' money out of a heavily-guarded police station with the help of characters from previous installments of the Fast and the Furious saga.

What's The Deal: Fast Five isn't just a popcorn movie -- this is popcorn that's been slathered in the most unhealthy, artificial "golden topping" imaginable, with some M&M's and Sno-Caps thrown in for good measure. But if you're in the mood for the cinematic equivalent of sugar and trans fats, the film delivers with one physics-defying set piece after another. Director Justin Lin -- whose Tokyo Drift is considered by many to be the pinnacle of this franchise -- is smart enough to know that these movies are all about the vroom-vroom and not the talk-talk. (He gives us one too many helicopter shots zooming over the famous statue of Christ the Redeemer, but few foreign directors shooting in Rio can resist that one.) So don't be surprised if you laugh at the few moments when Fast Five tries to create dramatic tension, and just bide your time until the next jaw-dropping automotive escapade.

Starring The Dodge Charger: There are scenes where Diesel and Walker are "acting" -- if the very definition of that word isn't stretched beyond recognition with the mumbling and monotone going on here -- that just confirms that the success of this series is all about the cars. Are there two worse actors in American cinema today? I mean, seriously: Larry the Cable Guy and Rob Schneider could out-emote these two yo-yos without breaking a sweat.

Keep Your Seats: Sit through the credits for one final scene that sets up the inevitable sixth movie. And truth be told, it's got me anticipating the next F&F movie for the first time ever.

Why The Rio Tourism Board Won't Be Using Fast Five In The Promo Materials: The film portrays the entire city's police force (save for one rookie cop) as being on the take. The characters also spend a lot of time in the city's notorious slums.

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Comments (5)

ben j thompson - 5-15-2011 4:32 PM
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all you reviewers are the same.just have fun,i have been a fan of the series sence the first fast and furious. sure their were some senes were impossible to servive like the corvette drop seen. they would have died from impacted,but thats holly wood.why are they bringing back the asian guy hawn. he was killed in tokyo drift crashed in chase sene.

koach - 6-11-2011 5:57 PM
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I like how you say the cars go "Boom A Lot" check out loyal breed we have a hit song called boom a lot, go to you tube under loyal breed boom a lot.........

Danny - 10-04-2011 7:39 PM
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I know that the movie is no longer a new release to theaters but i just bought it on blu ray and watched it for the second time and i have to agree with most of what Alonso Duralde wrote in his review. I loved the hell out of this film. Ben this is a response to what u wrote, Alonso is stating that he enjoyed the film but he still has to point out the faults because its his job. There is nothing wrong with what he wrote. He makes valid points. If u are upset by the critics then dont read what they have to say. Now Alonso in rssponse to Vin Diesels axting

Danny - 10-04-2011 7:43 PM
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I know that the movie is no longer a new release to theaters but i just bought it on blu ray and watched it for the second time and i have to agree with most of what Alonso Duralde wrote in his review. I loved the hell out of this film. Ben this is a response to what u wrote, Alonso is stating that he enjoyed the film but he still has to point out the faults because its his job. There is nothing wrong with what he wrote. He makes valid points. If u are upset by the critics then dont read what they have to say. Now Alonso in response to Vin Diesels acting, i believe Vin Diesel can act but a movie like this is not made with trying to get oscar winning performances so its fine if its not up to high standards although I think that the acting is

Danny - 10-04-2011 7:47 PM
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fine here. There are movies out there with worse acting (house of 1000 corpses, any jessica alba movie and all syfy original movies qualifies).

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