Who's in It:
Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Andre Braugher, Julian McMahon, Kerry Washington
The Basics: Mr. Fantastic stretches, Invisble Woman disappears, Human Torch burns and the Thing yells and lifts stuff all over again as a couple of new nemesises (nemesi?) try to kill the planet. Silly bad guys. Don't you know you're dealing with the Fantastic Four?
What's the Deal? Boring is the deal. It's only about 90 minutes long, and it feels longer because there's a whole lot of talking going on when you wish there'd be crazy, imaginative action and evildoer smackdowning. Not that there isn't action. But it's stuff you've seen done before in other movies. It's a sad thing when you can say that there was more suspense delivered by the recent Tony Awards.
How They Messed With the Comic Book: They turned Galactus into a cloud. A fluffy little cloud. Ready to go burn down some movie theaters now, Nerds? As for the rest of you, the Silver Surfer is the money shot in this one, but the truth is that his character is really just the herald for this Galactus guy who devours planets. In the comic books, Galactus is a being who speaks in a kind of Fancy English and says pompous, third-person stuff like: "What are brief, unimportant lives to Galactus?" Here, he isn't even a he, and he just goes "whooosh" a lot, like if a slow-moving tornado hit the whole planet.
Most Orange Person in the Cast: Besides the Thing, of course, that honor goes to Alba, who must have some sort of promotional deal going with E!'s Sunset Tan. Oh, and speaking of promotion, they even work in some "clever" meta-y product placement for all sorts of grocery store items. Josie and the Pussycats did it better.
Who'll Really, Really Like It: Kids. And if you're an adult who has to take kids, you won't want to poke your own eyes out or anything, but you'll probably doze off.