Who's in It:Sarah Jessica Parker, Dermot Mulroney, Diane Keaton, Craig T. Nelson, Rachel McAdams, Luke Wilson
The Basics: An uptight corporate woman (Parker) engaged to a similarly boring guy (Mulroney) meets his somewhat bohemian — and mostly just uncivil — family on Christmas Eve. They fight, they bicker, they misunderstand, they slip and fall on spilled milk and then Christmas forces them all to learn lessons about love and life. Yuck.
What's the Deal? Dysfunctional family Christmas movies are a waste of time. First they pull you in with a come-on, something like, "You thought your family was crazy, but wait until you meet the So-and-So Clan!" Then there's the sucker-punch when you learn that these people have no problems that a few thoughtful conversations among principal cast members couldn't solve. But by then it's too late. You bought the ticket, and the third-act resolution is still 90 minutes away. You lose.
Stupid Script Tricks: No character in this movie will behave like a reasonable human being. You're meant to accept that they're all intelligent grown-ups with differing world views, and that's why they don't get along. But really, it's a movie full of people who don't seem to know the first thing about civil adult behavior. She's spoiled and pouty; they're treacherous and mean. You'll want to line them up and slap them all.
Gay Saints: Oh, wait, the gay son and his partner are nice. To a fault. They have to be. If they weren't, then we'd miss the scene in which mom Diane Keaton gets self-righteously offended by a thoughtless remark from Parker's character and tearfully announces how good and kind and perfect they are.
It's Cheating to Lift Moving Moments Wholesale From Other Films and Just Drop Them Into Your Own Movie: But that's what happens here when the sad Christmas song "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" is sung by Judy Garland straight from a scene in Meet Me in St. Louis. A montage of unhappy family members keeps cutting back to Judy's face. The real tears are from your arm being twisted so hard.
Good Movie From Same Filmmaker: 2001's Big Eden, a sweetly charming and funny indie film from writer-director Thomas Bezucha, takes on the subject of small-town gay romance and shines like the Christmas ornament this one wishes it were.