Fame is a pointless exercise, a remake of Alan Parker's 1980 film about kids at a performing-arts high school that follows the same structure but smothers everything that made the R-rated original worth watching. Slick, shallow and cleaned up, it slathers Parker's gritty urban drama with a glossy, family-friendly layer of High School Musical and lobs it right at “American Idol”-loving tweens.
The saddest thing about this tepid reboot is that the roles of the teachers have been filled by interesting, perfectly cast veteran actors. Kelsey Grammer is the music teacher, explaining to a hip-hop keyboardist that he still needs to learn Bach. Charles S. Dutton is the drama instructor, attempting to draw his students out of their shells. Bebe Neuwirth and Megan Mullally both bring depth to their underwritten characters as teachers who have to break the bad news that not every student is destined for greatness.
These actors, in their almost cameo roles, are much, much more dynamic than their lifeless students, who are cardboard cut-outs straight out of typecasting school -- the classical pianist who really wants to sing (Naturi Naughton), the angry rapper who can't open up (Collins Pennie), the timid actress (Kay Panabaker), the goofball would-be filmmaker (Paul Iacano). All are dull as dishwater and, without the racier elements of the original, all they do is stand around and discuss how much they hope they'll be famous one day.
Former choreographer-turned-director Kevin Tancharoen does his best work, unsurprisingly, on the dance sequences. His reworked version of the iconic cafeteria dance scene is nicely done, although lacks the electricity of the original. The most polished numbers focus on So You Think You Can Dance alum Kherington Payne, who plays a wealthy, talented dancer who, at least as far as the script is concerned, seems to have no personality whatsoever. Even at his best, though, there's such a heavy reliance on the Bob Fosse playbook that it's obvious Tancharoen rewatched All That Jazz and Chicago with notebook in hand.
Ironically, for a movie that appears to be aimed squarely at fans of TV talent shows, Fame lacks everything that makes those shows so compelling -- engaging characters, surprise, and suspense. Weak and cliché-ridden, Fame is a complete wash.