Dave's Rating:

1.5

… so damn boring.

Who's in It: Dane Cook, Dax Shepard, Jessica Simpson, Efren Ramirez, Tim Bagley

The Basics: Super Club (Costco, basically) box boy (Cook) wants to bang the checkout girl (Simpson). This makes sense because they're both so damn boring. Seriously, was "pretty" the only casting requirement made for this movie? Anyway, he's got to become employee of the month to make the score. So he competes with Shepard for the title. Too bad they don't sell big boxes of funny at this store.

What's the Deal? I know that millions of people find Cook hilarious. I'm not one of them. And the movie sort of rests on how much you love him. So, if you love him, then you might not care that the movie's only laughs come when Napoleon Dynamite's Pedro shows up and acts weird.

The Employee Handbook Clearly States That You Are Happy: They filmed this in a Costco and just covered up all the signs that said so. You know they did because the Costco store brand, Kirkland, is easily visible. And I wonder whether the condition of shooting there, product placement intact, was that it was unacceptable to make it seem as though working in a bulk-shopping environment is in any way like being in hell. Because all the characters — even the slackers — seem pretty content. And the movie never once asserts that smashing the corporate chokehold that huge, big-box chain stores have on America might be more fun than winning the title of employee of the month. Oh, wait, that movie's called Idiocracy.

Cleavage Meter: In the red zone, about to break the needle. Simpson's breasts are her character. Not since Glitter have I seen a movie in which the female lead had so little dialogue and needed so much double-stick tape.

Double-Bill It With: Career Opportunities, the 1991 movie in which Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly spend the night in a Target.

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