Who's in It: Björn Hlynur Haraldsson, Lilja Nótt Pórarinsdóttir, Arnaldur Ernst, Helgi Björnsson
The Basics: An Icelandic football player (that's soccer to you Americans) announces he's gay. Everyone goes crazy from the scandal of it all — before learning that people are just people and blah, blah, blah. But really? Iceland? I thought they were cooler than that. I mean, the band Sigur Rós is from there. And there's a gay guy leading it. And they're about the second most popular worldwide export of that tiny country after Bjórk. So I think this movie is full of it.
What's the Deal? I also think this movie is full of it because it's not funny at all. It's every crappy, underdoggy, rah-rah sports film and every crappy, please-love-me-even-though-I've-made-everyone-upset-by-being-a-gay film ever made, rolled into one lame, unimaginative lump. And speaking of Sigur Rós, I just watched a documentary about them — a nice one — called Heima, and they do a show for a small town in Iceland, and there's a big banquet where people eat the heads of goats. It's pretty gross. And I'd rather eat a whole plate of them myself than watch another movie like this.
An Idea: What would happen if a movie like this allowed even one character to stay anti-gay at the end? Because, seriously, if you're coming out in a somewhat hostile environment, no amount of huggy good vibes is going to convince the hard heart of someone who thinks you're evil incarnate. And if you're going to assert that your story takes place in a backward hotbed of homophobia and pretend that it's more or less based on real life, then perhaps you ought to account for that sort of thing.
Comparatively Better Gay Sports Movies That You Should Watch Instead: The Iron Ladies, Personal Best, The Longest Yard, Semi-Tough (and if Burt Reynolds made any others like those last two, then add them to the list, because that's all I've got off the top of my head.)
Who'll Like It: Gay audiences with low standards easily met by locker-room wiener scenes.