Who's in It:
Fernando Arroyo, Miguel Angel Hoppe
The Basics: Two university-ish gay guys in Mexico meet/kiss/hump/betray/resent/huff/puff/dissolve. And they do it with almost no dialogue. For 140 minutes. This is a long time to Not Talk to your first true love. And it's as aburrido as you can imagine. That's Spanish for "boring," FYI.
What's the Deal? The most compelling thing about it is the T-shirts the lover boys wear. Visually irrational, graphic T-shirts that feature everything from squiggles to Steve McQueen. It's like watching two guys French kiss in an Urban Outfitters.
Here's Pretty Much All the Talking That Happens: And seriously, I'm not making this up
Boyfriend # 1: What just went through your mind?
Boyfriend # 2: I don't know.
There's Also a Narrator: The narrator explains how the two simply cannot live without each other and yet cannot be together. The narrator does this every so often. And unlike director Julián Hernández's really good Capital-A Art film called A Thousand Clouds of Peace, it's not all that interesting to watch.
Shortbus You Ain't: There's plenty of carefully choreographed sex in this movie. None of it skimps on the full-frontal. But even if you're a gay guy who's exclusively into handsome young Mexican men, you're going to call it out as fake-y. I promise.